I am not a big TV watcher...which is why I love my DVR. I can tape shows and then watch them at my leisure. I have movies saved up in the queue for when I might want 'em, too. (In short, DVR helps accommodate my active social life in Manhattan - yeah right!)
However, today, my DVR failed me. I was watching a real-time Law & Order: Criminal Intent and it had me sitting on the edge of my seat and biting my nails. There were five minutes left in the show, when an alert popped up on the bottom of the screen asking whether or not I wanted to keep or cancel a scheduled DVR recording. I realized that since I had paused the Law & Order show for awhile, and then started watching it 20 minutes later, it had been "taped." The DVR system only allows for the taping of one show at a time.
In any case, long story short, my show was suddenly obliterated from my screen (right in the middle of an intense interrogation!) and one of my roommate's shows popped up. SO annoying!
So, by any chance, did anyone see the L&I episode tonight (9-10pm) in which a seedy lawyer has a string of affairs and murders all the mistresses? I want to know what happened! Actually, I can guess. I just wish I could have seen it for myself!
Anyway, I can get my Law and Order fix whenever I want since I've got a bunch of shows in my DVR queue :)
On a related note, I decided that I think I prefer L&I:CI to L&I:SVU. Vincent D'Onofrio is just a great actor and I love watching him. Also, the chick is cool and the one on SVU kind of annoys me.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Dysfunctional Community
A friend of mine has described the Upper West Side (Jewish-particularly Orthodox) dating community as dysfunctional. It's very close-knit and people tend to socialize and date within the community, yet are unwilling to settle down. I think that this trend mirrors a larger trend within NYC (and other urban areas), namely that young singles are committment-phobic and insatiable. There's gotta be something better (eg a partner) around the corner. Besides, being single is so much more fun!
For young observant Jews (not me, not so much...well kind of), however, the delay in getting married is starting to be labeled as a "crisis." Yesterday, a documentary addressing this subject aired on NYCTV. Here's the trailer:
I haven't yet watched it (that's what DVR is for!)
For young observant Jews (not me, not so much...well kind of), however, the delay in getting married is starting to be labeled as a "crisis." Yesterday, a documentary addressing this subject aired on NYCTV. Here's the trailer:
I haven't yet watched it (that's what DVR is for!)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
"Help me with my English please..."
...was the theme of last night's date.
We had fun flirting and talking and joking around... but at the end of the night, he was weird. I thought there was chemistry, but when I touched his arm during dinner and his back while we were looking at a map together, he did nothing. When he dropped me off at the subway, he was about to walk away without even giving me a hug (or a handshake or high 5 or anything!) -- until I initiated it. It was awkward. Why?! I will be really surprised if he calls me. I thought we had a fun time. The end just weirded me out. Could he have really been that awkward or was he just not interested? Hmmm...
In the meantime, I have not heard from Dr. Gorgeous... I'm not so disappointed because I know he's out of my league... but I would like to be his friend and/or set him up with someone else! I suppose he's not in the habit of making new female friends though because I bet they all fall in love with him!!
Honestly, men are just a different species. I should stop acting so surprised. I've been dating for more than a decade now!
We had fun flirting and talking and joking around... but at the end of the night, he was weird. I thought there was chemistry, but when I touched his arm during dinner and his back while we were looking at a map together, he did nothing. When he dropped me off at the subway, he was about to walk away without even giving me a hug (or a handshake or high 5 or anything!) -- until I initiated it. It was awkward. Why?! I will be really surprised if he calls me. I thought we had a fun time. The end just weirded me out. Could he have really been that awkward or was he just not interested? Hmmm...
In the meantime, I have not heard from Dr. Gorgeous... I'm not so disappointed because I know he's out of my league... but I would like to be his friend and/or set him up with someone else! I suppose he's not in the habit of making new female friends though because I bet they all fall in love with him!!
Honestly, men are just a different species. I should stop acting so surprised. I've been dating for more than a decade now!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
New TV Ad to Promote Israeli Tourism
Has anyone seen it? I was not able to locate it on YouTube, but it aired on FOX at 12:30pm today (target audience: rich housewives?)
I hate to criticize Israel because it is my first love (okay, not counting family + future husband), but I was not a fan of this ad.
The commercial starts with a pair of tourists (a couple) who are trying to find their way and two Israeli women walk by quickly, say shalom and give a wide gesture toward the building behind them (the Knesset, Israeli parliament, perhaps). The couple continues along their way and is greeted with "Shalom" by: an art gallery owner who brings them inside, a gardener guy who turns off the sprinkler for them to pass, a dude reading the newspaper in the Dead Sea and perhaps a couple more. Everyone is super-friendly (which is not an exaggeration, I should mention). Toward the end, the couple embraces as they look at the view of the Old City. Definitely cheesy, but I suppose it could be an effective draw.
In general, the commercial shows a variety of scenes from Israel, but basically, it's a perfectly typical, boring, happy-go-lucky couple traipsing through Israel wearing button-down shirts and puppy-dog eyes. Its concept completely strays from a former commercial that had hot babes in bikinis. (I really wish I could have found this one on YouTube. You would enjoy it!) A happy medium could have been reached -- that is, between showing the normal tourist experience and having a little sexiness there, too!
However, the worst part was at the end, when the speaker said "Israel" and it sounded like "isz-RAAAIIIIL." Oy vey! Way to have a spokesperson who can't even say the name of the country correctly! Why not choose a Jewish or Israeli voiceover artist (or at least someone who can fake it!)? I actually know two! This is an abomination! How can you have an ad for your country when the name of the country is pronounced wrong!?!
I hate to criticize Israel because it is my first love (okay, not counting family + future husband), but I was not a fan of this ad.
The commercial starts with a pair of tourists (a couple) who are trying to find their way and two Israeli women walk by quickly, say shalom and give a wide gesture toward the building behind them (the Knesset, Israeli parliament, perhaps). The couple continues along their way and is greeted with "Shalom" by: an art gallery owner who brings them inside, a gardener guy who turns off the sprinkler for them to pass, a dude reading the newspaper in the Dead Sea and perhaps a couple more. Everyone is super-friendly (which is not an exaggeration, I should mention). Toward the end, the couple embraces as they look at the view of the Old City. Definitely cheesy, but I suppose it could be an effective draw.
In general, the commercial shows a variety of scenes from Israel, but basically, it's a perfectly typical, boring, happy-go-lucky couple traipsing through Israel wearing button-down shirts and puppy-dog eyes. Its concept completely strays from a former commercial that had hot babes in bikinis. (I really wish I could have found this one on YouTube. You would enjoy it!) A happy medium could have been reached -- that is, between showing the normal tourist experience and having a little sexiness there, too!
However, the worst part was at the end, when the speaker said "Israel" and it sounded like "isz-RAAAIIIIL." Oy vey! Way to have a spokesperson who can't even say the name of the country correctly! Why not choose a Jewish or Israeli voiceover artist (or at least someone who can fake it!)? I actually know two! This is an abomination! How can you have an ad for your country when the name of the country is pronounced wrong!?!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Dr. Gorgeous
So life is up! And so is my luck!
I met a gorgeous guy this weekend. He is very tall, about 6'3. He is suave and sexy and has a British accent. Plus he's a doctor. And he's Jewish. And he's Israeli. Yet, he's also very kind, sincere, funny and has good taste in music! I don't have a picture of him to share with you, but imagine a cross between McDreamy (from Grey's Anatomy) and Mr. Big (from Sex in the City)! What could be wrong?!?!
A couple things just aren't computing for me.
1. How could there be such an incredible Jewish guy out there? He simply must be too good to be true. Jewish guys just don't come in this variety. There's a catch, I'm sure. He's divorced. He has kids in all the countries he's lived in (international playboy of sorts). Maybe he has major commitment issues. Or is a porn star and not a surgeon. Maybe he's just not Jewish and knows enough to impersonate one. Worst case scenario: maybe he's bipolar like me. According to this past week's NYT Magazine cover article, that would not bode well for our children.
2. How could such an incredible Jewish guy be interested in ME? I told my girlfriends that he's too good for me and they were shocked to hear me say that. But gorgeous guys go with gorgeous girls. That's just how it usually works. I know what my type is. I'm not skinny, fashionable, light-hearted and confident. I mean, I'm not fat, ugly, depressing and self-deprecating either...but still... When you're at a party, everybody always checks each other out and can usually identify who is get-able for them and who is not. (And embarrassment can ensue if you don't have this social barometer!)
Maybe I should stop all this nonsense. I really just should have gone home with him on Saturday night!!! I'll have to see about making that opportunity come up (haha) again...
I met a gorgeous guy this weekend. He is very tall, about 6'3. He is suave and sexy and has a British accent. Plus he's a doctor. And he's Jewish. And he's Israeli. Yet, he's also very kind, sincere, funny and has good taste in music! I don't have a picture of him to share with you, but imagine a cross between McDreamy (from Grey's Anatomy) and Mr. Big (from Sex in the City)! What could be wrong?!?!
A couple things just aren't computing for me.
1. How could there be such an incredible Jewish guy out there? He simply must be too good to be true. Jewish guys just don't come in this variety. There's a catch, I'm sure. He's divorced. He has kids in all the countries he's lived in (international playboy of sorts). Maybe he has major commitment issues. Or is a porn star and not a surgeon. Maybe he's just not Jewish and knows enough to impersonate one. Worst case scenario: maybe he's bipolar like me. According to this past week's NYT Magazine cover article, that would not bode well for our children.
2. How could such an incredible Jewish guy be interested in ME? I told my girlfriends that he's too good for me and they were shocked to hear me say that. But gorgeous guys go with gorgeous girls. That's just how it usually works. I know what my type is. I'm not skinny, fashionable, light-hearted and confident. I mean, I'm not fat, ugly, depressing and self-deprecating either...but still... When you're at a party, everybody always checks each other out and can usually identify who is get-able for them and who is not. (And embarrassment can ensue if you don't have this social barometer!)
Maybe I should stop all this nonsense. I really just should have gone home with him on Saturday night!!! I'll have to see about making that opportunity come up (haha) again...
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Is Anyone There??
If you are reading this, please take a moment to comment & say hello!
I am doing better. Doctor upped my anti-depressant a few days ago and it really makes a difference. Hopefully, I'll be able to focus better to apply for and maybe even get a job!
Don't be shy -- Say hi!!
I am doing better. Doctor upped my anti-depressant a few days ago and it really makes a difference. Hopefully, I'll be able to focus better to apply for and maybe even get a job!
Don't be shy -- Say hi!!
Friday, September 12, 2008
From the Archives: A list from 2004
Things Could Be Worse
1) I could be an orphan.
2) I could be deaf.
3) I could be blind.
4) I could be paralyzed.
5) I could be homeless.
6) I could have a fatal disease.
7) I could be living in a dictatorship.
8) I could be persecuted because I'm Jewish.
9) I could be lost in the middle of nowhere for eternity.
10) I could be immortal.
11) I could have no faith (which I sometimes don't).
12) I could be cold-hearted.
13) I could hate children.
14) I could have an STD.
15) I could be a victim of something terrible and suffer from the fallout for the rest of my life (e.g. nightmares, post-traumatic stress disorder)
16) I could lose a loved one when I am least emotionally prepared for if (NOT TO JINX MYSELF - bli eyn hara)
17) I could be filthy rich - what way to be more miserable? There is such a thing has having it too good.
18) I could be forced to degrade myself to make ends meet.
19) I could have no cushion to fall on - emotionally, financially, etc. - e.g. a support network and generous kind parents to lend a hand when I need it.
20) I could be terribly socially awkward. (I sort of am now, but not that badly.)
(I recently looked through 11 old journals and will be posting some of the more interesting tidbits...)
1) I could be an orphan.
2) I could be deaf.
3) I could be blind.
4) I could be paralyzed.
5) I could be homeless.
6) I could have a fatal disease.
7) I could be living in a dictatorship.
8) I could be persecuted because I'm Jewish.
9) I could be lost in the middle of nowhere for eternity.
10) I could be immortal.
11) I could have no faith (which I sometimes don't).
12) I could be cold-hearted.
13) I could hate children.
14) I could have an STD.
15) I could be a victim of something terrible and suffer from the fallout for the rest of my life (e.g. nightmares, post-traumatic stress disorder)
16) I could lose a loved one when I am least emotionally prepared for if (NOT TO JINX MYSELF - bli eyn hara)
17) I could be filthy rich - what way to be more miserable? There is such a thing has having it too good.
18) I could be forced to degrade myself to make ends meet.
19) I could have no cushion to fall on - emotionally, financially, etc. - e.g. a support network and generous kind parents to lend a hand when I need it.
20) I could be terribly socially awkward. (I sort of am now, but not that badly.)
(I recently looked through 11 old journals and will be posting some of the more interesting tidbits...)
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Things about me II
The first list I made was in 2006. Here's some more (another triple chai=54):
55. I started running in the parks near me. It feels good.
56. I have never used a vibrator.
57. I have thought about it and would buy it in cash.
58. I am completely heterosexual, but am curious about lesbians. I wonder what it would feel like.
59. I wish I could [redacted]
60. I wonder if I'll ever have as good sex as I did back in '03.
61. I am generous.
62. I have a niece who is beautiful and innocent and oh-so-lucky.
63. I am almost 30 and still live with roommates.
64. My best friend is so talented. I aspire to be like her.
65. I discovered that I have family in Israel. This is HUGE. They are wonderful.
66. I really danced with a guy for the first time in years this weekend. He is super-cute, but kind of a shmucky personality. He was hitting on me. I would sleep with him if he weren't in my community. That would be fun. Especially drunk.
67. Sometimes I am too self-deprecating to people who I am not close to.
68. I like to plan parties for my friends. I want to plan another one after I secure a job.
69. It can be really hot in the right position with the right guy!
70. I buy party dresses and only wear them once.
71. I have a fabulous little black dress that I recently wore to a wedding. It's a must-have in every girl's wardrobe.
72. I painted my bedroom.
73. I am addicted to Facebook. It is very VERY bad.
74. I wish I could rewind to 2002.
75. I wish I had gone for a graduate degree.
76. I wish I had married my only love and moved to Israel.
77. I wish I weren't so wistful.
78. I have a ton of friends - 582 on FB, to be exact - but not many close ones.
79. I want to be more involved in philanthropic causes. I need to make this happen.
80. I love lightning.
81. I love swimming under waterfalls. Everything else is forgotten.
82. A cutie (with a gf) asked if I wanted a threesome this summer. It's the second time someone has ever asked me. He was joking, but there was some seriousness to it, methinks.
83. I wonder what I would do with a million dollars. I wouldn't know where to start.
84. I like being on top.
85. I would love to collect quality art. Someday.
86. I am scared to have children.
87. I am presumptuous to even write the above.
88. I can't believe that men and women 6 years younger than I are post-college professionals who are my contemporaries. And are often more successful than me.
89. I would like to be more spiritual and get more out of religion.
90. I do not respect my father.
91. I fear that my brother will be like him.
92. I admire my sister. She is strong and capable and independent - and she wasn't always.
93. I love scrapbooking.
94. I am very competitive.
95. I am a chocoholic. I need to find satisfying alternatives before I blow up into a balloon.
96. I can't afford therapy.
97. I can't afford anything actually.
98. I love a spiritual havdallah with singing and dancing.
99. I discovered that I can still dive.
100. I would love to lose 20 pounds.
101. I want to wear a bikini next summer. And be comfortable in it.
102. I wish I had direction.
103. I love it when my nails grow long.
104. I am ready for a change.
105. I would like to play the field more.
106. I would like to read more.
107. I would like to run more.
108. I would like to have a sneak preview of the future. Just to give me hope.
55. I started running in the parks near me. It feels good.
56. I have never used a vibrator.
57. I have thought about it and would buy it in cash.
58. I am completely heterosexual, but am curious about lesbians. I wonder what it would feel like.
59. I wish I could [redacted]
60. I wonder if I'll ever have as good sex as I did back in '03.
61. I am generous.
62. I have a niece who is beautiful and innocent and oh-so-lucky.
63. I am almost 30 and still live with roommates.
64. My best friend is so talented. I aspire to be like her.
65. I discovered that I have family in Israel. This is HUGE. They are wonderful.
66. I really danced with a guy for the first time in years this weekend. He is super-cute, but kind of a shmucky personality. He was hitting on me. I would sleep with him if he weren't in my community. That would be fun. Especially drunk.
67. Sometimes I am too self-deprecating to people who I am not close to.
68. I like to plan parties for my friends. I want to plan another one after I secure a job.
69. It can be really hot in the right position with the right guy!
70. I buy party dresses and only wear them once.
71. I have a fabulous little black dress that I recently wore to a wedding. It's a must-have in every girl's wardrobe.
72. I painted my bedroom.
73. I am addicted to Facebook. It is very VERY bad.
74. I wish I could rewind to 2002.
75. I wish I had gone for a graduate degree.
76. I wish I had married my only love and moved to Israel.
77. I wish I weren't so wistful.
78. I have a ton of friends - 582 on FB, to be exact - but not many close ones.
79. I want to be more involved in philanthropic causes. I need to make this happen.
80. I love lightning.
81. I love swimming under waterfalls. Everything else is forgotten.
82. A cutie (with a gf) asked if I wanted a threesome this summer. It's the second time someone has ever asked me. He was joking, but there was some seriousness to it, methinks.
83. I wonder what I would do with a million dollars. I wouldn't know where to start.
84. I like being on top.
85. I would love to collect quality art. Someday.
86. I am scared to have children.
87. I am presumptuous to even write the above.
88. I can't believe that men and women 6 years younger than I are post-college professionals who are my contemporaries. And are often more successful than me.
89. I would like to be more spiritual and get more out of religion.
90. I do not respect my father.
91. I fear that my brother will be like him.
92. I admire my sister. She is strong and capable and independent - and she wasn't always.
93. I love scrapbooking.
94. I am very competitive.
95. I am a chocoholic. I need to find satisfying alternatives before I blow up into a balloon.
96. I can't afford therapy.
97. I can't afford anything actually.
98. I love a spiritual havdallah with singing and dancing.
99. I discovered that I can still dive.
100. I would love to lose 20 pounds.
101. I want to wear a bikini next summer. And be comfortable in it.
102. I wish I had direction.
103. I love it when my nails grow long.
104. I am ready for a change.
105. I would like to play the field more.
106. I would like to read more.
107. I would like to run more.
108. I would like to have a sneak preview of the future. Just to give me hope.
Slip Sliding Away...
So here I am...more than 4 years after I started this blog. It's interesting to read back about the roller-coaster that has been my life.
Right now, I am stuck in a rut...though I always have been in some way or another. I have barely been supporting myself, have absolutely no motivation and have a complete and utter lack of self-esteem, such that I am paralyzed to even sit down and revise my resume.
I want to move to Israel. I want to fall in love. I want to get married. Who knows when any of those things will happen, but as I get older, the chances for everything get slimmer.
I don't feel smart anymore. I don't feel worthy of my college degree. I don't follow the news. I don't know what's going on in Iraq. I don't know what's going on with the 2008 election. And I'm pretty apathetic about it. I guess I just have enough of my own problems to contend with. Yet, I should still be worldly and try to be intellectual and read and learn and join a book club and attend lectures and maybe even take a class. It's a goal, I suppose.
I haven't told many people that I don't plan on voting. Honestly, the only issue of any interest to me is Israel. I think (have heard/read) that Obama is anti-Israel and McCain would be better for it. Yet, McCain (with his idiotic running mate, about whom I know little...but enough to make that judgment) does not necessarily have my other concerns in mind--social welfare, education, abortion, taxes, etc. I haven't taken the time to research it though, so what do I know? I also recall Joe Biden as being pro-Israel. So besides the fact that my vote won't count (New York will go Democratic anyway) and besides the fact that the electoral voters can vote for whichever candidate they fancy (regardless of the popular vote), I simply don't think that who the next president is will seriously impact the state of this country and the state of the world. Enough about politics...
On to something I know a bit more about: MEN. Ha! I met a cutie this summer, but it didn't last very long (we only went out once, but it was a romantic night out on the town). I really wanted to go home with him, but it was not in the cards, even though he seemed to very much like me as well. I also met a second cutie who showed me that I am indeed still capable of an orgasm. But it has now been almost 2 years since I've had sex. On the one hand, I'd like to just wait for the right guy now, but on the other hand, I honestly would LOVE to have a couple one-night stands with guys who are NOT part of my community. That would be FUN. Perhaps it's just what I need to get my self-esteem up. (Now isn't that healthy!?)
Five of my friends are getting married in the next year. I think it's the second round of wedding fever. The first happened in my mid-20s and now this one is happening in my late-20s. Thank G-d I still have plenty of single friends left. Otherwise, I'd be pretty depressed. And I'm already depressed enough...
Right now, I am stuck in a rut...though I always have been in some way or another. I have barely been supporting myself, have absolutely no motivation and have a complete and utter lack of self-esteem, such that I am paralyzed to even sit down and revise my resume.
I want to move to Israel. I want to fall in love. I want to get married. Who knows when any of those things will happen, but as I get older, the chances for everything get slimmer.
I don't feel smart anymore. I don't feel worthy of my college degree. I don't follow the news. I don't know what's going on in Iraq. I don't know what's going on with the 2008 election. And I'm pretty apathetic about it. I guess I just have enough of my own problems to contend with. Yet, I should still be worldly and try to be intellectual and read and learn and join a book club and attend lectures and maybe even take a class. It's a goal, I suppose.
I haven't told many people that I don't plan on voting. Honestly, the only issue of any interest to me is Israel. I think (have heard/read) that Obama is anti-Israel and McCain would be better for it. Yet, McCain (with his idiotic running mate, about whom I know little...but enough to make that judgment) does not necessarily have my other concerns in mind--social welfare, education, abortion, taxes, etc. I haven't taken the time to research it though, so what do I know? I also recall Joe Biden as being pro-Israel. So besides the fact that my vote won't count (New York will go Democratic anyway) and besides the fact that the electoral voters can vote for whichever candidate they fancy (regardless of the popular vote), I simply don't think that who the next president is will seriously impact the state of this country and the state of the world. Enough about politics...
On to something I know a bit more about: MEN. Ha! I met a cutie this summer, but it didn't last very long (we only went out once, but it was a romantic night out on the town). I really wanted to go home with him, but it was not in the cards, even though he seemed to very much like me as well. I also met a second cutie who showed me that I am indeed still capable of an orgasm. But it has now been almost 2 years since I've had sex. On the one hand, I'd like to just wait for the right guy now, but on the other hand, I honestly would LOVE to have a couple one-night stands with guys who are NOT part of my community. That would be FUN. Perhaps it's just what I need to get my self-esteem up. (Now isn't that healthy!?)
Five of my friends are getting married in the next year. I think it's the second round of wedding fever. The first happened in my mid-20s and now this one is happening in my late-20s. Thank G-d I still have plenty of single friends left. Otherwise, I'd be pretty depressed. And I'm already depressed enough...
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Vacation is miserable
I acknowledge that miserable is a strong word, but I am struggling financially, career-wise and relationship-wise. Here's a brief introduction to the status quo of my life at the present moment. You will have the joy of reading specific humorous anecdotes at a later date.
Finances
Money is a problem. I am very fortunate to be living in a rent-stabilized apartment, but I am still taking in very little in terms of income. It (my income) is quite erratic actually, and I just got screwed out of a freelance gig recently. I still have to send an invoice to someone for work done last month and I am nervous that the guy will refuse to pay it. I would like to go on vacation, either locally or far away, and even though I have (meager) savings, I am reluctant to use them. I need to have a little bit of reserves... (though I am proud to say that I have ZERO debt.)
Career
I am still floundering. I am 27 years old. I should have a better sense of what I want do. Hell, even a career path that I am uncertain of would be a step up from where I am. But I have had no stability whatsoever. A different employer every year (and a few jobs that lasted fewer than a few months). I have been covered by every major health insurance company at some point or another, and it has been a huge pain in the ass, to say the least. (My opinions on healthcare are a whole 'nother story.)
Anyway, here I am, doing random things that a chick with a summa cum laude degree, simply should not be doing. I need a stable job, a stable income, and an enjoyment of what I do. Forget about looking and responding to ads. I can barely work on my resume because I am so terrified of failure. I have a huge network of friends, but it is hard to use them as connections because I don't know what the hell I want to do.
This past fall, I decided I was going to hit up my friends for "informational interviews," to go to their workplaces, spend a few hours with them and see what it is they do, and see if I'd like to do it. Perhaps I need to go ahead and do that now. However, I am reluctant to go back to school for fear that I will be wasting my money, and ultimately deciding not to pursue a particular field.
I need to do a really good assessment of my skills and figure out which job field might suit me. Everyone I know who has gone to a career counselor has not had much luck. I think it's a similar experience to matchmakers. How the hell can someone truly know you and your skills and your quirks and your personality to match you to someone (or to a field/job)? I need to figure it out on my own, I think, and use my friends & family & maybe some self-help job books as guidance.
Why couldn't I have gone to law school? I am really good at detail-oriented tasks and research projects. I excel at those. Those are skills that are useful in law. But I was not going to jump on the bandwagon just because my friends were doing it. To have piles of papers on my desk and crazy bureaucracy and obscene hours did not appeal to me.... though I do know people who work for the government, derive more enjoyment from work, have more normal hours... and make very little money compared to their private-sector peers (and will probably spend more than a decade paying off loans.)
Relationships & Dating
I have not dated much in the last 9 months. I had a few very short-lived casual things this past summer (essentially pretty innocent one-night-stands; one was in the desert under the stars; it's too bad I wasn't so taken with him b/c it would have been even more romantic) and I had a date recently with a guy that I became obsessed with for a short amount of time. I don't think it was because he deserved it (he was just an ordinary nice Jewish boy), but because I have been so desperate for intimacy. And not sexual intimacy necessarily. I think my meds have largely stolen that away from me. Although from past experience, I have learned that a guy who knows what he is doing can satisfy me. Perhaps the meds have no effect on my sex life, and I just have an emotional problem getting attached to someone.
Ever since I've been diagnosed (bipolar disorder, for you new readers), I have been hesitant to get close to anyone. My last boyfriend wanted to know what was wrong and why I was withdrawing from him. However, I don't think it was my fear of commitment and sharing my problems with him, as much as it was a simple disinterest in him. I like to think that when I meet the right guy, I will know it, and I will more easily be able to open up to him, knowing withougt a doubt that he will be supportive.
[end of kvetching]
Finances
Money is a problem. I am very fortunate to be living in a rent-stabilized apartment, but I am still taking in very little in terms of income. It (my income) is quite erratic actually, and I just got screwed out of a freelance gig recently. I still have to send an invoice to someone for work done last month and I am nervous that the guy will refuse to pay it. I would like to go on vacation, either locally or far away, and even though I have (meager) savings, I am reluctant to use them. I need to have a little bit of reserves... (though I am proud to say that I have ZERO debt.)
Career
I am still floundering. I am 27 years old. I should have a better sense of what I want do. Hell, even a career path that I am uncertain of would be a step up from where I am. But I have had no stability whatsoever. A different employer every year (and a few jobs that lasted fewer than a few months). I have been covered by every major health insurance company at some point or another, and it has been a huge pain in the ass, to say the least. (My opinions on healthcare are a whole 'nother story.)
Anyway, here I am, doing random things that a chick with a summa cum laude degree, simply should not be doing. I need a stable job, a stable income, and an enjoyment of what I do. Forget about looking and responding to ads. I can barely work on my resume because I am so terrified of failure. I have a huge network of friends, but it is hard to use them as connections because I don't know what the hell I want to do.
This past fall, I decided I was going to hit up my friends for "informational interviews," to go to their workplaces, spend a few hours with them and see what it is they do, and see if I'd like to do it. Perhaps I need to go ahead and do that now. However, I am reluctant to go back to school for fear that I will be wasting my money, and ultimately deciding not to pursue a particular field.
I need to do a really good assessment of my skills and figure out which job field might suit me. Everyone I know who has gone to a career counselor has not had much luck. I think it's a similar experience to matchmakers. How the hell can someone truly know you and your skills and your quirks and your personality to match you to someone (or to a field/job)? I need to figure it out on my own, I think, and use my friends & family & maybe some self-help job books as guidance.
Why couldn't I have gone to law school? I am really good at detail-oriented tasks and research projects. I excel at those. Those are skills that are useful in law. But I was not going to jump on the bandwagon just because my friends were doing it. To have piles of papers on my desk and crazy bureaucracy and obscene hours did not appeal to me.... though I do know people who work for the government, derive more enjoyment from work, have more normal hours... and make very little money compared to their private-sector peers (and will probably spend more than a decade paying off loans.)
Relationships & Dating
I have not dated much in the last 9 months. I had a few very short-lived casual things this past summer (essentially pretty innocent one-night-stands; one was in the desert under the stars; it's too bad I wasn't so taken with him b/c it would have been even more romantic) and I had a date recently with a guy that I became obsessed with for a short amount of time. I don't think it was because he deserved it (he was just an ordinary nice Jewish boy), but because I have been so desperate for intimacy. And not sexual intimacy necessarily. I think my meds have largely stolen that away from me. Although from past experience, I have learned that a guy who knows what he is doing can satisfy me. Perhaps the meds have no effect on my sex life, and I just have an emotional problem getting attached to someone.
Ever since I've been diagnosed (bipolar disorder, for you new readers), I have been hesitant to get close to anyone. My last boyfriend wanted to know what was wrong and why I was withdrawing from him. However, I don't think it was my fear of commitment and sharing my problems with him, as much as it was a simple disinterest in him. I like to think that when I meet the right guy, I will know it, and I will more easily be able to open up to him, knowing withougt a doubt that he will be supportive.
[end of kvetching]
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Resuming the Blog...
I have had no posts for 2007 and the year is virtually over!
I will do my best to write some interesting and entertaining content for my readers soon.
Happy holidays!
:)
I will do my best to write some interesting and entertaining content for my readers soon.
Happy holidays!
:)
Friday, November 17, 2006
I love my bank!
I received the following notice from them:
Sender: Commerce Bank
Subject: Refunded Payment - Verizon Wireless
Message: The check issued to this payee has not been presented for payment. A refund will be issued to your account within 2-3 business days. If you need further assistance, please contact customer service.
Payee Name: VERIZON WIRELESS
Payment Amount: $103.27
Payment Date: April 10 2006
I guess I somehow missed it balancing my checkbook (too busy with taxes, perhaps), but no complaints here!! Obviously, this could have happened anywhere, but for me, it reflects very well on my bank, too. (they're also open til 8pm and on Sundays!) And that's 100 bucks toward this year's higher bills due to overusage!
Isn't it odd that a corporate entity such as Verizon would manage to screw up and not deposit a consumer's check? As far as I know, they did not carry the charge over to the next bill. And if they did, it doesn't matter because I've still got an extra hundred bucks in my pocket.
That certainly made my day!
Sender: Commerce Bank
Subject: Refunded Payment - Verizon Wireless
Message: The check issued to this payee has not been presented for payment. A refund will be issued to your account within 2-3 business days. If you need further assistance, please contact customer service.
Payee Name: VERIZON WIRELESS
Payment Amount: $103.27
Payment Date: April 10 2006
I guess I somehow missed it balancing my checkbook (too busy with taxes, perhaps), but no complaints here!! Obviously, this could have happened anywhere, but for me, it reflects very well on my bank, too. (they're also open til 8pm and on Sundays!) And that's 100 bucks toward this year's higher bills due to overusage!
Isn't it odd that a corporate entity such as Verizon would manage to screw up and not deposit a consumer's check? As far as I know, they did not carry the charge over to the next bill. And if they did, it doesn't matter because I've still got an extra hundred bucks in my pocket.
That certainly made my day!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Stood Up-date
(part I in previous post)
So I was stood up on Tuesday night, but thoroughly confused as to why because we had a great email/phone rapport and he did not seem like the type of guy to do such a rude thing.
On Wednesday night, I considered going to a class that he said he was going to, just to meet him face-to-face to find out what happened. A friend advised me not to (she actually said it would be psychotic), so I reconsidered and left my would-be beau a voicemail instead. I expressed regret that we didn't meet up, but requested that he call me back to let me know what happened.
No response.
On Thursday night, I sent him a short email saying that I had been worried and asking him to do me the courtesy of replying to tell me what happened.
Then he replied! Very simple & to the point. He said he arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes early (at 7:15) and sat down at a table. His cellphone battery was dead. At 8:15, he ordered food to go and left (right about when I left also). He wrote that he thought I didn't show up.
However, I had been waiting outside the whole time! After arriving right on time and waiting about 10 minutes, I stepped inside to look at the posted menu and took a fast glance around, but as it was a blind date, I didn't want to roam the restaurant looking for a semi-familiar face from a tiny pixelated image. I was also very nervous (usually I am not so nervous on dates) and looked up the block, eagerly waiting for him. So I waited. And waited. And waited. And finally went on with my evening.
My perspective:
* If you were going on a first date, wouldn't you wait to meet the person at the entrance to the establishment? Every time I've gone on a first date, I've met the date at the door. It's only polite to meet at the door and be seated together, isn't it?
* If you were early for said first date and for some reason decided to sit down, wouldn't you be on the look-out for said date?
* If your cell phone battery were dead, wouldn't you take extra care to make sure you covered your bases? Including calling for your messages if you don't see your date after 45 minutes? But also checking the door of the restaurant (esp. at the designated meeting time), telling the hostess you're waiting for someone, sitting at a table outside or near the door, etc.?
I don't like to make accusations, but there is a chance he's lying. Does his story sound legit? His phone DID NOT go straight to voicemail when I called that night, meaning that unless it was broken, the battery was not dead, as he claimed. But other than that, were we both just idiotic? Does he have reason to be annoyed at me? Do I have reason to be annoyed at him? Does this incident mean it's not besheret (meant-to-be)? Or could it be a test?
I was really into him, but now I don't know what to do. At the very least, I will write him back a short message. A male friend of mine suggested that I apologize and "take one for the team." Even if the guy was at fault, too. And my friend couldn't believe that I didn't look around the restaurant. I don't know why I didn't look so hard. I think I just assumed he'd be waiting outside for me....
Questions for the peanut gallery:
Is either of us at fault?
Do you predict that I'll meet up with him again? Date him? Marry him?
only kidding.....sort of.....
So I was stood up on Tuesday night, but thoroughly confused as to why because we had a great email/phone rapport and he did not seem like the type of guy to do such a rude thing.
On Wednesday night, I considered going to a class that he said he was going to, just to meet him face-to-face to find out what happened. A friend advised me not to (she actually said it would be psychotic), so I reconsidered and left my would-be beau a voicemail instead. I expressed regret that we didn't meet up, but requested that he call me back to let me know what happened.
No response.
On Thursday night, I sent him a short email saying that I had been worried and asking him to do me the courtesy of replying to tell me what happened.
Then he replied! Very simple & to the point. He said he arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes early (at 7:15) and sat down at a table. His cellphone battery was dead. At 8:15, he ordered food to go and left (right about when I left also). He wrote that he thought I didn't show up.
However, I had been waiting outside the whole time! After arriving right on time and waiting about 10 minutes, I stepped inside to look at the posted menu and took a fast glance around, but as it was a blind date, I didn't want to roam the restaurant looking for a semi-familiar face from a tiny pixelated image. I was also very nervous (usually I am not so nervous on dates) and looked up the block, eagerly waiting for him. So I waited. And waited. And waited. And finally went on with my evening.
My perspective:
* If you were going on a first date, wouldn't you wait to meet the person at the entrance to the establishment? Every time I've gone on a first date, I've met the date at the door. It's only polite to meet at the door and be seated together, isn't it?
* If you were early for said first date and for some reason decided to sit down, wouldn't you be on the look-out for said date?
* If your cell phone battery were dead, wouldn't you take extra care to make sure you covered your bases? Including calling for your messages if you don't see your date after 45 minutes? But also checking the door of the restaurant (esp. at the designated meeting time), telling the hostess you're waiting for someone, sitting at a table outside or near the door, etc.?
I don't like to make accusations, but there is a chance he's lying. Does his story sound legit? His phone DID NOT go straight to voicemail when I called that night, meaning that unless it was broken, the battery was not dead, as he claimed. But other than that, were we both just idiotic? Does he have reason to be annoyed at me? Do I have reason to be annoyed at him? Does this incident mean it's not besheret (meant-to-be)? Or could it be a test?
I was really into him, but now I don't know what to do. At the very least, I will write him back a short message. A male friend of mine suggested that I apologize and "take one for the team." Even if the guy was at fault, too. And my friend couldn't believe that I didn't look around the restaurant. I don't know why I didn't look so hard. I think I just assumed he'd be waiting outside for me....
Questions for the peanut gallery:
Is either of us at fault?
Do you predict that I'll meet up with him again? Date him? Marry him?
only kidding.....sort of.....
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Stood Up
Yep. I was stood up this evening. For the very first time. Ordinarily (were such a situation to occur), I would have been annoyed and a little disappointed, but tonight, I was bewildered and a lot disappointed.
It's wrong to set your expectations too high, but I was really into this guy (I met him online.) He seems very genuine. Down-to-earth. Funny. Sentimental. Self-aware. Connected to Judaism & Israel. He's also older than the men I usually date: 35. But I overlooked the age thing because I thought he had so much potential.
He chose a really nifty little cafe in the Village for us to meet at tonight. And then he didn't show :( I was antsy while I was waiting, but I wasn't really annoyed because I'm always the late one. I felt like I was getting a taste of my own medicine. Worry and disappointment were really the emotions I experienced, not anger.
In any case, after 30 minutes, I left him a voicemail. After 45 minutes, I browsed the bookstore next door. And after 60 minutes, I headed down the street, and treated myself to a lovely meal at a French bistro with live music. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And deserved it. My evening ended up just fine, but I do hope everything is okay with him. :(
And I'll let you know when I hear more...
PS Have any of you ever stood up a date? If so, why & what happened?
It's wrong to set your expectations too high, but I was really into this guy (I met him online.) He seems very genuine. Down-to-earth. Funny. Sentimental. Self-aware. Connected to Judaism & Israel. He's also older than the men I usually date: 35. But I overlooked the age thing because I thought he had so much potential.
He chose a really nifty little cafe in the Village for us to meet at tonight. And then he didn't show :( I was antsy while I was waiting, but I wasn't really annoyed because I'm always the late one. I felt like I was getting a taste of my own medicine. Worry and disappointment were really the emotions I experienced, not anger.
In any case, after 30 minutes, I left him a voicemail. After 45 minutes, I browsed the bookstore next door. And after 60 minutes, I headed down the street, and treated myself to a lovely meal at a French bistro with live music. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And deserved it. My evening ended up just fine, but I do hope everything is okay with him. :(
And I'll let you know when I hear more...
PS Have any of you ever stood up a date? If so, why & what happened?
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
New York City and Education
Read the below quote from an ad for an event at the JCC.
"Applying to school can be an overwhelming and anxiety-producing process. Join our distinguished panel to get some of your questions answered: when to apply... how to choose the right school for your child, interviews, first choice letters, and how to survive the process."
Sounds just like applying to college, right? Well, I left out the third word in that blurb. That word is "nursery." Applying to nursery school is as stressful as applying to college. Just ridiculous!
This is only one of the many reasons I refuse to raise my children in Manhattan.
"Applying to school can be an overwhelming and anxiety-producing process. Join our distinguished panel to get some of your questions answered: when to apply... how to choose the right school for your child, interviews, first choice letters, and how to survive the process."
Sounds just like applying to college, right? Well, I left out the third word in that blurb. That word is "nursery." Applying to nursery school is as stressful as applying to college. Just ridiculous!
This is only one of the many reasons I refuse to raise my children in Manhattan.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Labor Day & Other Musings
Haha. An Israeli friend of mine asked me if "Labor Day" referred to giving birth or to work. I replied "giving birth" with a straight face and looked him right in the eye for about 5 seconds before cracking up.
On that note, it would most certainly be disrespectful were I to work today. "Work" as in looking for work! Instead I will probably go hang out in Central Park. There is a frum gathering (frum means Orthodox Jews), but I am so sick of that "scene," that I will avoid it altogether.
Yesterday, I had a nice mini-PDA session in CP with this guy I just started dating. The unfortunate thing is that I'm not really that into him. He's cute and fun, but I just don't feel a deeper connection. I don't think he does either, but he does seem to like me more than I like him. And then I get into the "pretend" game because it's just fun to walk around holding hands and smooching. After he closes a couple deals, he wants to take me on vacation. Why not?! (I have my doubts that this would materialize, but it would be cool!) What I also like about him is that he respects me and isn't so sex-obsessed. Or at least not outwardly so. It's been 3 dates, but I haven't invited him up and we've just had fun going out. I guess this is "dating" in my mom's old-fashioned way. It's so different from the experiences I've had in the past. I must admit that I like it, though if we go on vacation, we'd be sleeping together. Even if I plan not to, I don't have that kind of self-control with a sexy Israeli :)
I went out dancing the other night. It happened to be one of these clubs where everyone just did their own thing. No judgments. Just wild crazy dancing and having fun. I was with some girlfriends. Hanging out with gfs is sometimes more fun than mixed company.
Anyway, I'm going into this coming month UNINSURED. Not that it's such an uncommon thing. I used to think that those ststistics of how many Americans were uninsured referred to the low-income demographic, but I've realized over the last few years that is not necessarily the case. I have peers who ride life by the seat of their pants, without insurance. Keep your fingers crossed that nothing terrible happens to me (though I can sign up for a policy that would be retroactive to Sept. 1st).
I am writing for the sake of writing right now, but it's actually in response to a couple emails I received (yes, I have fans!) Some people want to hear what's new in my life. That is pretty neat.
In any case, I cannot meet up with anyone because that would mean disclosing my identity. Even my best friends don't know about this blog. I like having an audience, but I'm writing my innermost secrets here and would be mortified to meet a stranger who knew me so intimately.
Keep the comments coming! And/or email me at singlegalnyc@hotmail.com
On that note, it would most certainly be disrespectful were I to work today. "Work" as in looking for work! Instead I will probably go hang out in Central Park. There is a frum gathering (frum means Orthodox Jews), but I am so sick of that "scene," that I will avoid it altogether.
Yesterday, I had a nice mini-PDA session in CP with this guy I just started dating. The unfortunate thing is that I'm not really that into him. He's cute and fun, but I just don't feel a deeper connection. I don't think he does either, but he does seem to like me more than I like him. And then I get into the "pretend" game because it's just fun to walk around holding hands and smooching. After he closes a couple deals, he wants to take me on vacation. Why not?! (I have my doubts that this would materialize, but it would be cool!) What I also like about him is that he respects me and isn't so sex-obsessed. Or at least not outwardly so. It's been 3 dates, but I haven't invited him up and we've just had fun going out. I guess this is "dating" in my mom's old-fashioned way. It's so different from the experiences I've had in the past. I must admit that I like it, though if we go on vacation, we'd be sleeping together. Even if I plan not to, I don't have that kind of self-control with a sexy Israeli :)
I went out dancing the other night. It happened to be one of these clubs where everyone just did their own thing. No judgments. Just wild crazy dancing and having fun. I was with some girlfriends. Hanging out with gfs is sometimes more fun than mixed company.
Anyway, I'm going into this coming month UNINSURED. Not that it's such an uncommon thing. I used to think that those ststistics of how many Americans were uninsured referred to the low-income demographic, but I've realized over the last few years that is not necessarily the case. I have peers who ride life by the seat of their pants, without insurance. Keep your fingers crossed that nothing terrible happens to me (though I can sign up for a policy that would be retroactive to Sept. 1st).
I am writing for the sake of writing right now, but it's actually in response to a couple emails I received (yes, I have fans!) Some people want to hear what's new in my life. That is pretty neat.
In any case, I cannot meet up with anyone because that would mean disclosing my identity. Even my best friends don't know about this blog. I like having an audience, but I'm writing my innermost secrets here and would be mortified to meet a stranger who knew me so intimately.
Keep the comments coming! And/or email me at singlegalnyc@hotmail.com
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Things about me
(in no particular order)
(this has been a work in progress)
1. My favorite color is turquoise.
2. I am a nice Jewish girl in New York, but I am not a JAP.
3. I am bipolar.
4. I am grossly underpaid.
5. I graduated college with highest honors.
6. I drink lots of water.
7. I recently got addicted to Sudoku.
8. My little sister is getting married.
9. It takes me 10 minutes to choose an ice cream flavor.
10. I hate shopping. Mostly because I can't afford anything.
11. I miss sex.
12. I have lots of photos that are not yet in albums.
13. I will never ever use anything but Tide and Skippy (for detergent & PB, that is!)
14. I wonder if I've already met my soulmate (besheret).
15. I am a good shmoozer, but it's not my favorite activity.
16. I love play-doh. I might buy some for myself.
17. I don't have a doorman.
18. I have furniture that came off the street.
19. I might start playing tennis again.
20. I give dirty looks to rude people in subway stations.
21. Sushi is a recent obsession. And anything else with avocado.
22. My neighborhood keeps getting trendier. I like to think I am a trend-setter.
23. I need a vacation. Like I *really* need a vacation.
24. I'm not so great at holding down jobs.
25. I want to grow up. Or revert back to age 8.
26. I am genuine and generous and ingenious. Okay, maybe not ingenious.
27. I mean what I say and I say what I mean. This sometimes gets me in trouble.
28. I write to journalists and Congressman regarding Israel mostly.
29. I hide my medications and am paranoid that people will find out my condition. It's such a stigma.
30. I enjoy going to events alone. It allows me more freedom. I met an ex this way.
31. I can't stand pretension.
32. I went to 2 movies alone last week. It was very liberating.
33. I haven't been on a date in 4 months.
34. I haven't had sex in 11 months.
35. I have 5 dates this coming week. When it rains, it pours.
36. I have 2 best friends and I love them. I wonder if they know.
37. I love playing in the rain. I usually leave my umbrella at home.
38. I collect cool magnets. And shot glasses.
39. I've been to Disney World 3 times.
40. I've been to Israel 7 times.
41. I've been in love once. In Israel.
42. I have a pretty mean conscience. I guess this is a good thing.
43. I can be very flirty. I can also be very misleading. Unintentionally.
44. I am always late. Always.
45. My last date told me I was gorgeous and sweet and special. Wow, ego boost.
46. I save my spare change for tzedakah. Except quarters go to the laundry fund :)
47. I feel like I lose friends when they get married.
48. I'm my grandma's favorite (of 9) and she has told me so. She rocks. I love her so much.
49. It is very hard for me to stay on task.
50. I learned to ride my bike at the beach.
51. My dad taught me how to parallel park. I've gotten into NYC spaces with one inch on each side. I exaggerate not.
52. My mom is my pillar of strength. But she's also a pain in my ass.
53. I am trying to figure out where I am Jewishly.
54. I am not a fan of the "real world." And I don't mean the show.
54 is good. It's triple chai. Enough for today. Maybe another day, I'll have some more interesting & random facts about me.
(this has been a work in progress)
1. My favorite color is turquoise.
2. I am a nice Jewish girl in New York, but I am not a JAP.
3. I am bipolar.
4. I am grossly underpaid.
5. I graduated college with highest honors.
6. I drink lots of water.
7. I recently got addicted to Sudoku.
8. My little sister is getting married.
9. It takes me 10 minutes to choose an ice cream flavor.
10. I hate shopping. Mostly because I can't afford anything.
11. I miss sex.
12. I have lots of photos that are not yet in albums.
13. I will never ever use anything but Tide and Skippy (for detergent & PB, that is!)
14. I wonder if I've already met my soulmate (besheret).
15. I am a good shmoozer, but it's not my favorite activity.
16. I love play-doh. I might buy some for myself.
17. I don't have a doorman.
18. I have furniture that came off the street.
19. I might start playing tennis again.
20. I give dirty looks to rude people in subway stations.
21. Sushi is a recent obsession. And anything else with avocado.
22. My neighborhood keeps getting trendier. I like to think I am a trend-setter.
23. I need a vacation. Like I *really* need a vacation.
24. I'm not so great at holding down jobs.
25. I want to grow up. Or revert back to age 8.
26. I am genuine and generous and ingenious. Okay, maybe not ingenious.
27. I mean what I say and I say what I mean. This sometimes gets me in trouble.
28. I write to journalists and Congressman regarding Israel mostly.
29. I hide my medications and am paranoid that people will find out my condition. It's such a stigma.
30. I enjoy going to events alone. It allows me more freedom. I met an ex this way.
31. I can't stand pretension.
32. I went to 2 movies alone last week. It was very liberating.
33. I haven't been on a date in 4 months.
34. I haven't had sex in 11 months.
35. I have 5 dates this coming week. When it rains, it pours.
36. I have 2 best friends and I love them. I wonder if they know.
37. I love playing in the rain. I usually leave my umbrella at home.
38. I collect cool magnets. And shot glasses.
39. I've been to Disney World 3 times.
40. I've been to Israel 7 times.
41. I've been in love once. In Israel.
42. I have a pretty mean conscience. I guess this is a good thing.
43. I can be very flirty. I can also be very misleading. Unintentionally.
44. I am always late. Always.
45. My last date told me I was gorgeous and sweet and special. Wow, ego boost.
46. I save my spare change for tzedakah. Except quarters go to the laundry fund :)
47. I feel like I lose friends when they get married.
48. I'm my grandma's favorite (of 9) and she has told me so. She rocks. I love her so much.
49. It is very hard for me to stay on task.
50. I learned to ride my bike at the beach.
51. My dad taught me how to parallel park. I've gotten into NYC spaces with one inch on each side. I exaggerate not.
52. My mom is my pillar of strength. But she's also a pain in my ass.
53. I am trying to figure out where I am Jewishly.
54. I am not a fan of the "real world." And I don't mean the show.
54 is good. It's triple chai. Enough for today. Maybe another day, I'll have some more interesting & random facts about me.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Double Whammy
I've always been sensitive to comments that people make about something being "retarded," "so gay," etc. Schizo was a term I never used to think as much about and used it occasionally myself to denote certain situations.
But now I am SO much more aware of how horrible it is to joke about mental issues, sexual preferences, etc. It's just so wrong.
Over the course of the last year or so, I have been faced with comments about bpd and had to cringe (can't say grin, in this case) and bear it. Last night there were two. I'm glad it was a sad movie because my teary eyes (and almost more) would have been normal if noticed.
Here were the two comments:
1. In the movie we were watching, there is a discussion about whether or not this woman was unfit to be a mother and about her husband threatening to hospitalize her. My friend's friend said, "It's nothing a little Lithium can't help." Yes, a mood stabilizer can (no shit) STABILIZE, but it can't CURE, and to make such a comment/joke was extremely insensitive and hurt me deep down.
2. Recently a friend of mine was having a helluva time with disputing a charge on her credit card. She went through several representatives who all told her different things and she was potentially going to lose hundreds of dollars. In describing ths situation, she threw up her arms and said, "They are just so bipolar/schizophrenic." Then she said she shouldn't have said that...i.e. realized it was an exaggeration and insensitive, because this is one of the sweetest people I know. To hear it come out of her mouth was a bit of a shock.
In any case, I'm sad.
The two types of cases (I'm apparently into lists tonight!) I've heard about BPD are:
1. the "success & struggle & ultimate triumph" stories of celebrities and others who have managed to publish books and have happy successful, if sometimes troubled, lives.
2. the sad stories of estrangement, alienation, troubled childhoods, strained relationships and weariness from having a mother/spouse/child with it (or depression or other mental problems).
I fear that my life will be more of #2 than #1. Not to sound like a broken record, but will I meet a man who can handle it all? What are the risks of devastation, etc. to my children? I will have to go off meds to be pregnant (I believe this is true, or perhaps it just majorly increases risks to baby's health) and potentially have major relapses. Is it worth it for me to pursue a conventional path of love, marriage, family? What if it gets all f'ed up because of my problems?
I wish I knew someone in my situation. A nice single Jewish girl in her 20s just trying to have a happy life, make ends meet, etc. There must be many out there, but I don't know where to find them. If you know someone, please put me in touch. It would be nice to have a pen-pal who could relate... singlegalnyc@hotmail.com
But now I am SO much more aware of how horrible it is to joke about mental issues, sexual preferences, etc. It's just so wrong.
Over the course of the last year or so, I have been faced with comments about bpd and had to cringe (can't say grin, in this case) and bear it. Last night there were two. I'm glad it was a sad movie because my teary eyes (and almost more) would have been normal if noticed.
Here were the two comments:
1. In the movie we were watching, there is a discussion about whether or not this woman was unfit to be a mother and about her husband threatening to hospitalize her. My friend's friend said, "It's nothing a little Lithium can't help." Yes, a mood stabilizer can (no shit) STABILIZE, but it can't CURE, and to make such a comment/joke was extremely insensitive and hurt me deep down.
2. Recently a friend of mine was having a helluva time with disputing a charge on her credit card. She went through several representatives who all told her different things and she was potentially going to lose hundreds of dollars. In describing ths situation, she threw up her arms and said, "They are just so bipolar/schizophrenic." Then she said she shouldn't have said that...i.e. realized it was an exaggeration and insensitive, because this is one of the sweetest people I know. To hear it come out of her mouth was a bit of a shock.
In any case, I'm sad.
The two types of cases (I'm apparently into lists tonight!) I've heard about BPD are:
1. the "success & struggle & ultimate triumph" stories of celebrities and others who have managed to publish books and have happy successful, if sometimes troubled, lives.
2. the sad stories of estrangement, alienation, troubled childhoods, strained relationships and weariness from having a mother/spouse/child with it (or depression or other mental problems).
I fear that my life will be more of #2 than #1. Not to sound like a broken record, but will I meet a man who can handle it all? What are the risks of devastation, etc. to my children? I will have to go off meds to be pregnant (I believe this is true, or perhaps it just majorly increases risks to baby's health) and potentially have major relapses. Is it worth it for me to pursue a conventional path of love, marriage, family? What if it gets all f'ed up because of my problems?
I wish I knew someone in my situation. A nice single Jewish girl in her 20s just trying to have a happy life, make ends meet, etc. There must be many out there, but I don't know where to find them. If you know someone, please put me in touch. It would be nice to have a pen-pal who could relate... singlegalnyc@hotmail.com
Friday, March 17, 2006
It Could Be Worse
Leave it to a stand-up comic to instill some inspiration in me. I don't exactly remember the context, but the point was all in the delivery. "It Could Be Worse." And it was funny. People laughed. A friend of mine performed too. He was one of the best comics there :)
Anyway, it (LIFE) could be worse. A guy stopped me politely on the street when I got out of the subway at midnight. He asked me if I was familiar with the pizza/deli place across the street. I said, "Not really. Why?" and he asked me if I could get him some pizza? So I said sure and accompanied him to the pizza place, making a bit of small talk on the way. I want to think I did it out of the kindness of my heart, but I think I also did it because I felt guilty that I hadn't yet fulfilled the Purim mitzvah of giving to the poor.
In any case, he gave me some perspective. I asked how long he's been in NYC and he said his whole life, and on the streets for two years. This pizza was the first food he was eating all day. I asked about food/soup kitchens and he said he goes, but they are not available every day. I asked if he had a place to sleep. "On the subway," he said. "Hopefully I'll crash after I eat this pizza."
I told him that I got a deal on bread: 2 loaves for $2 and told him where to get it. I suggested that it could last a couple weeks! He got excited when I brought this up.
He said his hands were cold. I gave him my gloves. He needs them more than I do. I have other pairs. Those are easily replaceable.
That's the story. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to eat pizza for an hour and pick his brain and hear about his "side of the tracks." (really bad pun NOT intended.)
Why is he worse off? Why doesn't he have family/friends to help him out? If I had a relative or friend in such a position, how much could I help? I could let someone crash with me for 2 weeks, but could I then dismiss him and sit idly by as he roams the streets begging for change?
I may b*tch and complain about lack of career path, lack of money/stress about finances, lack of motivation, frustration in finding a really good guy (with whom I am compatible and who has a big enough heart and strong enough feelings for me to deal with all of my MENTAL SHIT), this stifling city, and the *(*#@^$* bpd itself, but ultimately IT COULD BE WORSE.
Upon reflecting on this incident on my walk home, my brain briefly went into "manic mode," and I thought, "WOW, I could totally interview homeless people and gain so much perspective and put together a book about it and figure out ways to address the crisis." It makes me nervous when manic stuff comes out. Funnily enough, often it comes out in the form of, "Damn, that is SO F'N COOL. I should WRITE A BOOK about it and I could do this and this and this." Fortunately, I am not a dimwit and I recognize that when I bring this up, I'm starting to go manic.....or is that a mistake? Perhaps, I SHOULD be writing about issues that have a powerful impact on me...I mean, I am a strong writer and a great researcher... Hmmmm.... The fine line between normalcy and mania is frustrating as hell! I just don't know who I really am and what ideas/thoughts/plans/actions are reasonable and what is TOO off-the-wall.
....BUT IT COULD BE WORSE...
Anyway, it (LIFE) could be worse. A guy stopped me politely on the street when I got out of the subway at midnight. He asked me if I was familiar with the pizza/deli place across the street. I said, "Not really. Why?" and he asked me if I could get him some pizza? So I said sure and accompanied him to the pizza place, making a bit of small talk on the way. I want to think I did it out of the kindness of my heart, but I think I also did it because I felt guilty that I hadn't yet fulfilled the Purim mitzvah of giving to the poor.
In any case, he gave me some perspective. I asked how long he's been in NYC and he said his whole life, and on the streets for two years. This pizza was the first food he was eating all day. I asked about food/soup kitchens and he said he goes, but they are not available every day. I asked if he had a place to sleep. "On the subway," he said. "Hopefully I'll crash after I eat this pizza."
I told him that I got a deal on bread: 2 loaves for $2 and told him where to get it. I suggested that it could last a couple weeks! He got excited when I brought this up.
He said his hands were cold. I gave him my gloves. He needs them more than I do. I have other pairs. Those are easily replaceable.
That's the story. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to eat pizza for an hour and pick his brain and hear about his "side of the tracks." (really bad pun NOT intended.)
Why is he worse off? Why doesn't he have family/friends to help him out? If I had a relative or friend in such a position, how much could I help? I could let someone crash with me for 2 weeks, but could I then dismiss him and sit idly by as he roams the streets begging for change?
I may b*tch and complain about lack of career path, lack of money/stress about finances, lack of motivation, frustration in finding a really good guy (with whom I am compatible and who has a big enough heart and strong enough feelings for me to deal with all of my MENTAL SHIT), this stifling city, and the *(*#@^$* bpd itself, but ultimately IT COULD BE WORSE.
Upon reflecting on this incident on my walk home, my brain briefly went into "manic mode," and I thought, "WOW, I could totally interview homeless people and gain so much perspective and put together a book about it and figure out ways to address the crisis." It makes me nervous when manic stuff comes out. Funnily enough, often it comes out in the form of, "Damn, that is SO F'N COOL. I should WRITE A BOOK about it and I could do this and this and this." Fortunately, I am not a dimwit and I recognize that when I bring this up, I'm starting to go manic.....or is that a mistake? Perhaps, I SHOULD be writing about issues that have a powerful impact on me...I mean, I am a strong writer and a great researcher... Hmmmm.... The fine line between normalcy and mania is frustrating as hell! I just don't know who I really am and what ideas/thoughts/plans/actions are reasonable and what is TOO off-the-wall.
....BUT IT COULD BE WORSE...
Thursday, January 26, 2006
If I committed suicide...
...how many people would come to my funeral?
Does anyone ever wonder that?
Recently, a girl my age was hit by a car. She got 400 (to the funeral). It was a "tragedy." The community rallied together. A friend of a friend told me she was sick of hearing about it. Do people get idolized too much in death?
I guess I'd be pitied if I committed suicide. Lots of hushed whispers. What ifs. Why didn't I know? Why did no one know? She seemed so happy. Life was going her way. Lots of gossiping.
What if I died the regular way? What would be different? Less pity. More sympathy. No family shame. No Jewish shame.
Why am I so morbid?
What would the world be without me? Would much be different? How many people do I matter to anyway? No more than a handful. Worth preserving my life for? Do I matter to myself? Will I ever matter to anyone who wants to marry me and have a family, despite my problems? And if I do, could we still be happy? Would I succeed at not alientating, like so many others I know with depression & bpd?
What terrible thoughts. Yet thoughts nonetheless. I'm not really suicidal. Just introspective. And really really sad when I think about my future. (And my present).
Does anyone ever wonder that?
Recently, a girl my age was hit by a car. She got 400 (to the funeral). It was a "tragedy." The community rallied together. A friend of a friend told me she was sick of hearing about it. Do people get idolized too much in death?
I guess I'd be pitied if I committed suicide. Lots of hushed whispers. What ifs. Why didn't I know? Why did no one know? She seemed so happy. Life was going her way. Lots of gossiping.
What if I died the regular way? What would be different? Less pity. More sympathy. No family shame. No Jewish shame.
Why am I so morbid?
What would the world be without me? Would much be different? How many people do I matter to anyway? No more than a handful. Worth preserving my life for? Do I matter to myself? Will I ever matter to anyone who wants to marry me and have a family, despite my problems? And if I do, could we still be happy? Would I succeed at not alientating, like so many others I know with depression & bpd?
What terrible thoughts. Yet thoughts nonetheless. I'm not really suicidal. Just introspective. And really really sad when I think about my future. (And my present).
Monday, January 09, 2006
What's up with that?
There's this guy:
1. I dated him.
2. It lasted about a month.
3. Then he dumped me to be just "friends."
4. Now he calls me constantly, invites me places and invites himself over my place.
5. And he tries to hook up with me. (Usually I acquiesce!)
What is up?? I should give him the cold shoulder until he wants to properly date me and take me out, but honestly, I don't really feel jerked around because I'm "just not that into him." (like that book: "He's Just Not That Into You.") We have fun together and he certainly makes me laugh, but he's definitely not my besheret (soulmate).
Hmmmm.... not requesting advice... Just commenting on screwed up guys. I mean, he's in his early 30s... you'd think he would be a bit more serious by now. Can we say "COMMITMENT ISSUES" ??
Cheers...
1. I dated him.
2. It lasted about a month.
3. Then he dumped me to be just "friends."
4. Now he calls me constantly, invites me places and invites himself over my place.
5. And he tries to hook up with me. (Usually I acquiesce!)
What is up?? I should give him the cold shoulder until he wants to properly date me and take me out, but honestly, I don't really feel jerked around because I'm "just not that into him." (like that book: "He's Just Not That Into You.") We have fun together and he certainly makes me laugh, but he's definitely not my besheret (soulmate).
Hmmmm.... not requesting advice... Just commenting on screwed up guys. I mean, he's in his early 30s... you'd think he would be a bit more serious by now. Can we say "COMMITMENT ISSUES" ??
Cheers...
Random thought
So subways....you know how when you're on the platform and the uptown or downtown train arrives (in the opposite direction than the one you're travelling), and then sometimes your train comes at the same time. I love when that happens. It reminds me of a simultaneous orgasm... Contemplating things such as this make my daily commutes a little less irritating.
What do you think of that?!
What do you think of that?!
Monday, January 02, 2006
new year
hopefully the tides will change.
my resolutions for this year:
-stop biting my nails.
-get happy.
-pay off debt.
-go to israel.
-get a job i like.
-get some direction in my life.
-find a guy i really like.
new year's eve was not so thrilling. i went to a party with some friends at this random guy's apartment. he hired a dj and bouncer. penthouse. terrace. cigarettes. lots of vodka (i only consumed one drink). my friend picked up the host. i told her that he is a dork made cool by money! so true. i met no one of interest. though it was nice to go somewhere that didn't have the usual scenesters from my 'hood, and rather a random crowd. gotta meet some new people. sick of the old. bring in the new.
back to work in a couple days. not so happy about that. i think i was happier unemployed. unfortunately. i could be making as much money as i make in a day in one hour if i were in my old industry...and freelancing. freelancers make damn good money. before expenses such as health insurance and overhead. but still. i miss that life. always greener on the other side.
on the plus side, it is winter. which means skiing. i want to go out west this year, but it's too expensive :(
apologies for the stream of conciousness/lack of capitalization/sentence fragments today. don't take me less seriously... i promise not to do it again (okay, i lied. i most certainly do not promise....i have a bit of a committment problem. but more about that another time.)
my resolutions for this year:
-stop biting my nails.
-get happy.
-pay off debt.
-go to israel.
-get a job i like.
-get some direction in my life.
-find a guy i really like.
new year's eve was not so thrilling. i went to a party with some friends at this random guy's apartment. he hired a dj and bouncer. penthouse. terrace. cigarettes. lots of vodka (i only consumed one drink). my friend picked up the host. i told her that he is a dork made cool by money! so true. i met no one of interest. though it was nice to go somewhere that didn't have the usual scenesters from my 'hood, and rather a random crowd. gotta meet some new people. sick of the old. bring in the new.
back to work in a couple days. not so happy about that. i think i was happier unemployed. unfortunately. i could be making as much money as i make in a day in one hour if i were in my old industry...and freelancing. freelancers make damn good money. before expenses such as health insurance and overhead. but still. i miss that life. always greener on the other side.
on the plus side, it is winter. which means skiing. i want to go out west this year, but it's too expensive :(
apologies for the stream of conciousness/lack of capitalization/sentence fragments today. don't take me less seriously... i promise not to do it again (okay, i lied. i most certainly do not promise....i have a bit of a committment problem. but more about that another time.)
Friday, November 11, 2005
what is wrong with me
i am such a space cadet. i haven't been sleeping well. i've been taking my meds at very inconsistent intervals, missing about a dose a day over the last few days. i feel like a zombie. i haven't taken out my contacts in like 72 hours (and they aren't disposables.) i just cancelled a trip to visit good friends in boston this weekend. i had to pay bills and clean my room. i saw a cockroach in my room but lost him before i killed him. twice. so now he is going to sneak up on me while i'm sleeping or when i put on clothes and he crawls up my leg.
and now, what to do for shabbat? i want to be a hermit. just go nowhere. hang at home. be the big loser that i am. but last time i did that i felt so lame and more depressed.
two guys who i have dates with this week asked me to give them a ring if i didn't end up going away. but i don't think i will do that. i also don't want to run into them though. which with my luck would happen. i'm not overly thrilled with either of them. one is to be a first date, the other about the 4th. i almost dumped the 2nd for a 3rd who recently dumped me. and the first was such a wuss about asking me out, i wanted to tell him right on the spot, if you can't ask me out without being a big 'fraidy cat with obvious insecurities, then i'm not interested. he is cute though. in that dorky jewish (and foreign--not israeli) kind of way. his english is not the best either. he speaks slowly and deliberately and doesn't get my sarcasm. neither does bachelor #2. but he's learning. and he already left me a message saying he "misses" me. oy vey. i'm not looking for anything serious. until something seriously special comes my way.
dating in new york sucks. especially dating on the upper west side. but enough about that. it's a small small world here and i don't want to embarrass anyone....least of all, myself!
ps i can't believe i'm posting this. please forgive omission of commas and redundance and repetition and run-on sentences :)
and now, what to do for shabbat? i want to be a hermit. just go nowhere. hang at home. be the big loser that i am. but last time i did that i felt so lame and more depressed.
two guys who i have dates with this week asked me to give them a ring if i didn't end up going away. but i don't think i will do that. i also don't want to run into them though. which with my luck would happen. i'm not overly thrilled with either of them. one is to be a first date, the other about the 4th. i almost dumped the 2nd for a 3rd who recently dumped me. and the first was such a wuss about asking me out, i wanted to tell him right on the spot, if you can't ask me out without being a big 'fraidy cat with obvious insecurities, then i'm not interested. he is cute though. in that dorky jewish (and foreign--not israeli) kind of way. his english is not the best either. he speaks slowly and deliberately and doesn't get my sarcasm. neither does bachelor #2. but he's learning. and he already left me a message saying he "misses" me. oy vey. i'm not looking for anything serious. until something seriously special comes my way.
dating in new york sucks. especially dating on the upper west side. but enough about that. it's a small small world here and i don't want to embarrass anyone....least of all, myself!
ps i can't believe i'm posting this. please forgive omission of commas and redundance and repetition and run-on sentences :)
Thursday, November 03, 2005
There's Something About M...
...y obsession with DINERS!!!
I love 'em... and here's my very own TOP 10 LIST OF WHY DINERS ROCK:
10. Your glass of water is never -- make that, never ever -- empty. Somehow the glasses (minute though they may be) are magically always refilled without the need to flag down the wait staff. I swear, Elijah must be around somewhere...
9. There's the unassuming atmosphere, where one can be completely anonymous, yet revel in the glories of shameless people-watching... not to mention shameless eavesdropping. For some inexplicable reason, people choose to bare their souls while in diners. If you listen up, you'll hear all about money woes, lovers' quarrels and even sex scandals (if you're lucky).
8. The menus are home to more pages and varieties of fare than the swankiest theatre district celebrity hot-spot, the newest break-the-bank steakhouse or famed sushi destination. And diner food is cheap in price, but rarely so in quality. There are generous portions and it always makes for a hearty meal. Mmm...hungry yet?
7. Dining alone is not the least bit intimidating nor embarrassing. In fact, it simply enables you to do more people-watching and eavesdropping. (or at least do so without ignoring your dining companion!) And shmoozing with your hot waiter (if you're really lucky).
6. Diners don't kick you out. Sure there are some cafes that let you hang around hour-upon-hour, but do they offer bottomless cups of coffee and an endless stream of entertainment of the mundane?
5. You can happily sip a milkshake or indulge in a huge plate of french (freedom?) fries and the rest of your problems miraculously seem far far away.
4. Diners are tourist-free! Always! (*with the exception of listed tourist diners below) I didn't realize it until tonight when dining in one of New York's so-called "famous" diners, but even it is frequented by a pleasant crowd of locals.
3. What better place to catch up with an old friend, have a heart-to-heart with mom or have a teary break-up? Everyone seems to assume that no one is listening to your conversation, yet subconsciously, I think everyone likes having an audience. Plus it's anonymous because once you walk out, you may as well have just exited an online chatroom.
2. Omelettes have a preparation time of 43.2 seconds with an extra 10.6 seconds to get to the table. It doesn't matter how crowded or busy the diner is, this is a proven statistic. Service is so fast, you've gotta wonder if they've got an army of robots back there.
1. Lastly, I would be remiss to omit those ubiquitous diner mints that I hoard upon my exit (and sometimes upon my entrance, too). They're not even that tasty, but there's just some undefinable quality to them that simply completes the diner experience.
---
And the very best diners I know: (This is not geographically biased...really!)
Metro Diner (100th/Broadway): Very friendly. Very spacious. Diverse crowd. Decent people-watching. And the menu is almost as long as my honors thesis was :) Downside: It's not open 24 hours.
City Diner (90th/Broadway): Owned by the same proprietors as Metro Diner and it *is* open 24 hours. It's also conveniently located to some great bars and night-spots. (Okay, I lied. The numerous Amsterdam (Ave.) frat bars don't count. The only good one near there is Cleopatra's Needle which has its own fine cuisine.)
Strand Diner (96th/Broadway): The best feature of this place are the old-school jukebox game thingys (thingies, if you will) at each table. It's a funky obscure joint around the corner from the sketchy-by-night 2/3 subway stop.
Okay, so if you're a tourist, you can head to*:
Ellen's Stardust Diner (51st/Broadway): The supposed draw is the entourage of singing waiters, who are really just Broadway hopefuls shooting for the (far-away) stars! Beware: These waiters mean well, but they harbor delusions that they are the funniest, most entertaining performers this side of Broadway!
Carnegie Deli (55th/7th): It's famous for its $12 deli sandwiches and terrible service! Hurry, put me on the interminable list for a table now!
Tom's Restaurant (112th/Broadway): Seinfeld's famous haunt, yet surprisingly not overrun by tourist maniacs. I guess "Harlem" is just still too scary to set foot into. Check it out, but don't stay for a meal. Tom's is overpriced and underserviced. (It's also referenced in Suzanne Vega's song "Tom's Diner"). Downside: No mints!
*The mass appeal (to tourists) of these places may override the cynical comments I have made here! It's a New York experience....just like getting shoved in the subway.
I love 'em... and here's my very own TOP 10 LIST OF WHY DINERS ROCK:
10. Your glass of water is never -- make that, never ever -- empty. Somehow the glasses (minute though they may be) are magically always refilled without the need to flag down the wait staff. I swear, Elijah must be around somewhere...
9. There's the unassuming atmosphere, where one can be completely anonymous, yet revel in the glories of shameless people-watching... not to mention shameless eavesdropping. For some inexplicable reason, people choose to bare their souls while in diners. If you listen up, you'll hear all about money woes, lovers' quarrels and even sex scandals (if you're lucky).
8. The menus are home to more pages and varieties of fare than the swankiest theatre district celebrity hot-spot, the newest break-the-bank steakhouse or famed sushi destination. And diner food is cheap in price, but rarely so in quality. There are generous portions and it always makes for a hearty meal. Mmm...hungry yet?
7. Dining alone is not the least bit intimidating nor embarrassing. In fact, it simply enables you to do more people-watching and eavesdropping. (or at least do so without ignoring your dining companion!) And shmoozing with your hot waiter (if you're really lucky).
6. Diners don't kick you out. Sure there are some cafes that let you hang around hour-upon-hour, but do they offer bottomless cups of coffee and an endless stream of entertainment of the mundane?
5. You can happily sip a milkshake or indulge in a huge plate of french (freedom?) fries and the rest of your problems miraculously seem far far away.
4. Diners are tourist-free! Always! (*with the exception of listed tourist diners below) I didn't realize it until tonight when dining in one of New York's so-called "famous" diners, but even it is frequented by a pleasant crowd of locals.
3. What better place to catch up with an old friend, have a heart-to-heart with mom or have a teary break-up? Everyone seems to assume that no one is listening to your conversation, yet subconsciously, I think everyone likes having an audience. Plus it's anonymous because once you walk out, you may as well have just exited an online chatroom.
2. Omelettes have a preparation time of 43.2 seconds with an extra 10.6 seconds to get to the table. It doesn't matter how crowded or busy the diner is, this is a proven statistic. Service is so fast, you've gotta wonder if they've got an army of robots back there.
1. Lastly, I would be remiss to omit those ubiquitous diner mints that I hoard upon my exit (and sometimes upon my entrance, too). They're not even that tasty, but there's just some undefinable quality to them that simply completes the diner experience.
---
And the very best diners I know: (This is not geographically biased...really!)
Metro Diner (100th/Broadway): Very friendly. Very spacious. Diverse crowd. Decent people-watching. And the menu is almost as long as my honors thesis was :) Downside: It's not open 24 hours.
City Diner (90th/Broadway): Owned by the same proprietors as Metro Diner and it *is* open 24 hours. It's also conveniently located to some great bars and night-spots. (Okay, I lied. The numerous Amsterdam (Ave.) frat bars don't count. The only good one near there is Cleopatra's Needle which has its own fine cuisine.)
Strand Diner (96th/Broadway): The best feature of this place are the old-school jukebox game thingys (thingies, if you will) at each table. It's a funky obscure joint around the corner from the sketchy-by-night 2/3 subway stop.
Okay, so if you're a tourist, you can head to*:
Ellen's Stardust Diner (51st/Broadway): The supposed draw is the entourage of singing waiters, who are really just Broadway hopefuls shooting for the (far-away) stars! Beware: These waiters mean well, but they harbor delusions that they are the funniest, most entertaining performers this side of Broadway!
Carnegie Deli (55th/7th): It's famous for its $12 deli sandwiches and terrible service! Hurry, put me on the interminable list for a table now!
Tom's Restaurant (112th/Broadway): Seinfeld's famous haunt, yet surprisingly not overrun by tourist maniacs. I guess "Harlem" is just still too scary to set foot into. Check it out, but don't stay for a meal. Tom's is overpriced and underserviced. (It's also referenced in Suzanne Vega's song "Tom's Diner"). Downside: No mints!
*The mass appeal (to tourists) of these places may override the cynical comments I have made here! It's a New York experience....just like getting shoved in the subway.
I'm baaaaaaack.....
.......and better than ever!
It's been a tumultuous year, but I rode it out and here I am again, ready for this blog to suck the life out of me. :)
Only kidding. I find it to be cathartic. And I hope you find it to be entertaining (and maybe educational, insightful, inspiring). If so, please bookmark/blogroll me and come back to visit!
Stay tuned for lots of exciting stuff to come about dating in NYC, musings on religiousity, the mishugas (craziness) of work and how my bipolar illness affects it all. And some local NYC stuff, pop culture and ISRAEL!!
Please let me know that you stopped by. Drop me a comment or email me at singlegalnyc@hotmail.com. If you email me, I promise to write back! So exciting, right? I can even mail you an autographed item of your choice if you so desire.*
*This offer only stands until my blog becomes so popular that I can't keep up with the fan mail....
----
On a serious note: I am somewhat paranoid about my identity being discovered. If by chance, you figure out who I am, I beg you to please keep it in confidence. Consider it lashon hara ("evil tongue"//total horrible gossip) to share it with others who know me in real life. Because I am writing about the very sensitive topic of my mental illness, I would be mortified to find out that people from my real life knew.... Plus, I plan to write more about sex & relationships too....and I can't have all the men knocking down my door :)
---
HELP PLEASE: Is there a good (free) HTML resource for a beginner (list of tags?) I can't remember how to hyperlink to an email address and I tried the one listed on WebMonkey, but it didn't work. Thanks in advance!
It's been a tumultuous year, but I rode it out and here I am again, ready for this blog to suck the life out of me. :)
Only kidding. I find it to be cathartic. And I hope you find it to be entertaining (and maybe educational, insightful, inspiring). If so, please bookmark/blogroll me and come back to visit!
Stay tuned for lots of exciting stuff to come about dating in NYC, musings on religiousity, the mishugas (craziness) of work and how my bipolar illness affects it all. And some local NYC stuff, pop culture and ISRAEL!!
Please let me know that you stopped by. Drop me a comment or email me at singlegalnyc@hotmail.com. If you email me, I promise to write back! So exciting, right? I can even mail you an autographed item of your choice if you so desire.*
*This offer only stands until my blog becomes so popular that I can't keep up with the fan mail....
----
On a serious note: I am somewhat paranoid about my identity being discovered. If by chance, you figure out who I am, I beg you to please keep it in confidence. Consider it lashon hara ("evil tongue"//total horrible gossip) to share it with others who know me in real life. Because I am writing about the very sensitive topic of my mental illness, I would be mortified to find out that people from my real life knew.... Plus, I plan to write more about sex & relationships too....and I can't have all the men knocking down my door :)
---
HELP PLEASE: Is there a good (free) HTML resource for a beginner (list of tags?) I can't remember how to hyperlink to an email address and I tried the one listed on WebMonkey, but it didn't work. Thanks in advance!
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Wisdom from None Other Than Dr. Seuss
This quote speaks for itself:
Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss
By the way, they sell Dr. Seuss books in Hebrew. Now that's a good test of Hebrew abilities and also lots of fun to read. Check out your local Judaica store!
For a graduation present, I received a book called Seuss-isms for Success: Insider Tips on Economic Health from the Good Doctor. It includes appropriate quotes from various books of Dr. S and the editor really managed to extract some great business lessons! The starting quote is most inspirational for me, and I need to keep it in mind as much as I did when I first graduated:
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
-Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Oh, how I want to go places....happiness-wise....and...to Israel (which should come as no surprise to my faithful readers.) And maybe career-wise, but truth be told, I am skeptical that there's anything out there that would satisfy me. I hate the proverbial corporate ladder and I can't stand bureaucracy. I just need to make some money to keep my head above water... More about this later and I will open the floor for suggestions once I outline my qualifications for everyone's reading pleasure.
Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss
By the way, they sell Dr. Seuss books in Hebrew. Now that's a good test of Hebrew abilities and also lots of fun to read. Check out your local Judaica store!
For a graduation present, I received a book called Seuss-isms for Success: Insider Tips on Economic Health from the Good Doctor. It includes appropriate quotes from various books of Dr. S and the editor really managed to extract some great business lessons! The starting quote is most inspirational for me, and I need to keep it in mind as much as I did when I first graduated:
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
-Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Oh, how I want to go places....happiness-wise....and...to Israel (which should come as no surprise to my faithful readers.) And maybe career-wise, but truth be told, I am skeptical that there's anything out there that would satisfy me. I hate the proverbial corporate ladder and I can't stand bureaucracy. I just need to make some money to keep my head above water... More about this later and I will open the floor for suggestions once I outline my qualifications for everyone's reading pleasure.
Age of Ignorance: A Rant
Sometimes I have to wonder about the intellect of my fellow human beings. The following particular complaints are mathematical ones.
First of all, what is up with those tip cards? When people whip them out at restaurants, it seems they want to impress others with how savvy and prepared they are (as in, "Look how smooth I am; I brought condoms!" (i.e. "I knew I was gonna get some tonight!")) I just don't understand how it's so hard to calculate a tip. Some people (I think Bloomberg said this if I'm not mistaken) just double the tax (which is 8.25% in New York. He got trashed for leaving so little!)) More practically, it's mindless to move the decimal point one to the left to get 10%. Then either double it (for 20%, duh!) or take half of 10% and add it onto the 10% (for 15%). And there you have it! Singlegal's solution for the masses.
The next "Made for Stupid" thing I saw recently was a huge chart with a gazillion numbers on it. I was at DSW (which I believe stands for "Discount Shoe Warehouse") and this chart was a guide to pricing. Shoes were 20, 40, 60 or 80% off (though mysteriously, there seemed to be no shoes that were 80% off, and only a handful that were 60%. Damn those sneaky retailers..) The handy dandy chart listed each possible original price (in 10 cent increments or so) and what the new price would be with each of the 4 discounts. It was a sight to see and all those numbers made me a a bit dizzy. Why can't people find 10% and calculate from there? We all took high school math!
Lastly are those cash registers that dispense coins separately from bills when transacting a transaction. (Like that? That's my style!) As I think about it though, I am realizing that those cash registers might also serve the function to expedite transactions and keep customers waiting for a shorter time. I think they've got them at fast food joints where speed is definitely appreciated by the customers (and where the employees might very well be high school dropouts.)
---
On the other end of the spectrum (i.e. non-mathematical quirky grievances) are companies that find it appropriate to misspell their names or slogans to achieve marketing prowess. For example, there's Dunkin' Donuts, Rite Aid, Toys "R" Us, and many others that are eluding me right now.
And today, as I indulged in a Butterfinger, I was dismayed to see the slogan: "crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery!" For starters, it invents words (this is different from me inventing words for a blog; I wouldn't give a company an idiotic name or slogan) and those words don't even rhyme. For it to rhyme, it would have to be either "crispety, crunchety, peanut-butty(or buttety)" (all ending in "ty") or "crispery, crunchery, peanut-buttery." But I maintain that "crispy, crunchy, peanut-buttery" isn't all so terrible and still has the best ring to it!
---
Those are my complaints for today. Stay tuned for more in the future!
First of all, what is up with those tip cards? When people whip them out at restaurants, it seems they want to impress others with how savvy and prepared they are (as in, "Look how smooth I am; I brought condoms!" (i.e. "I knew I was gonna get some tonight!")) I just don't understand how it's so hard to calculate a tip. Some people (I think Bloomberg said this if I'm not mistaken) just double the tax (which is 8.25% in New York. He got trashed for leaving so little!)) More practically, it's mindless to move the decimal point one to the left to get 10%. Then either double it (for 20%, duh!) or take half of 10% and add it onto the 10% (for 15%). And there you have it! Singlegal's solution for the masses.
The next "Made for Stupid" thing I saw recently was a huge chart with a gazillion numbers on it. I was at DSW (which I believe stands for "Discount Shoe Warehouse") and this chart was a guide to pricing. Shoes were 20, 40, 60 or 80% off (though mysteriously, there seemed to be no shoes that were 80% off, and only a handful that were 60%. Damn those sneaky retailers..) The handy dandy chart listed each possible original price (in 10 cent increments or so) and what the new price would be with each of the 4 discounts. It was a sight to see and all those numbers made me a a bit dizzy. Why can't people find 10% and calculate from there? We all took high school math!
Lastly are those cash registers that dispense coins separately from bills when transacting a transaction. (Like that? That's my style!) As I think about it though, I am realizing that those cash registers might also serve the function to expedite transactions and keep customers waiting for a shorter time. I think they've got them at fast food joints where speed is definitely appreciated by the customers (and where the employees might very well be high school dropouts.)
---
On the other end of the spectrum (i.e. non-mathematical quirky grievances) are companies that find it appropriate to misspell their names or slogans to achieve marketing prowess. For example, there's Dunkin' Donuts, Rite Aid, Toys "R" Us, and many others that are eluding me right now.
And today, as I indulged in a Butterfinger, I was dismayed to see the slogan: "crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery!" For starters, it invents words (this is different from me inventing words for a blog; I wouldn't give a company an idiotic name or slogan) and those words don't even rhyme. For it to rhyme, it would have to be either "crispety, crunchety, peanut-butty(or buttety)" (all ending in "ty") or "crispery, crunchery, peanut-buttery." But I maintain that "crispy, crunchy, peanut-buttery" isn't all so terrible and still has the best ring to it!
---
Those are my complaints for today. Stay tuned for more in the future!
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
The Boyfriend Dramalogues
In a departure from my recent ramblings on how pathetic my life is (Note: this perception has not changed; life is still a wooden roller-coaster with loops), I'd like to thank PepGiraffe for inspiring this post of past boyfriends.
Disclaimer (for males): Sometimes for anonymity reasons, and sometimes for sheer amusement, women and their friends identify past, present & future suitors with mnemonically apt descriptors. (Yes, I made up the word "mnemonically"; I will take whatever poetic license I choose. Just don't mistake it for lack of intelligence.) This female tendency indicates a desire to remember lovingly, disregard wholly, mock amusingly and/or list nonsensically (as I will proceed to do here.) And I also must add that this phenomenon has become more prevalent among the masses following the introduction of the famous "Mr. Big" on Sex in the City.
These are my former suitors/lovers/boyfriends:
* "The Israeli" (times 4: "The Shoe Salesman," "The One I Loved," "The Shaliach" and "The One Night Stand")
* "The Canadian" (times 2 (included below); I switched from Israelis to Canadians; now I'm on religious guys! Yet I'm starting to pine away for "The One I Loved" from 3 years ago)
* "No-Personality" = "Let Me Take You Out So You Can Pay" = "The Overachiever / Great on Paper" guy (We both knew from Day 1 that it was going nowhere.)
* "No Chin" = "Sexy Dresser" = "Tall, Dark & Handsome" guy (It was intense & serious but not much else to say about him!)
* "Religious Yet NOT So Religious (If You Get My Drift)" guy
* "Perfect But There's No Spark" guy
* "Dorky but Adorable Newspaper Editor" guy
Only one JDater is described above, but I've dated my fair share of sketchy guys from that cesspool of cessationable (not sensational) men, and am skeptical about returning to it. (I'm especially skeptical of "The Penthouse" guy who got 2 chances from me.)
Speaking of which, anyone have any good stories from Saw You At Sinai (an online dating site with use of matchmakers)? I wonder if there will be a need for SawYouAtSinai-ers Anonymous...
Also, if you are a young single dating in Manhattan, it is imperative that you see the movie Crossing Delancey like yesterday. It is very funny and the premise is a young woman in her early 30s who isn't looking for love, but love is looking for her, in the form of a pickle vendor! Yeah for street vendors. Not only did my shoe salesman work in a store, but he worked at his dad's booth at the shuk, too. I know, I really know how to pick winners. It is still a source of amusement for my friends!
Disclaimer (for males): Sometimes for anonymity reasons, and sometimes for sheer amusement, women and their friends identify past, present & future suitors with mnemonically apt descriptors. (Yes, I made up the word "mnemonically"; I will take whatever poetic license I choose. Just don't mistake it for lack of intelligence.) This female tendency indicates a desire to remember lovingly, disregard wholly, mock amusingly and/or list nonsensically (as I will proceed to do here.) And I also must add that this phenomenon has become more prevalent among the masses following the introduction of the famous "Mr. Big" on Sex in the City.
These are my former suitors/lovers/boyfriends:
* "The Israeli" (times 4: "The Shoe Salesman," "The One I Loved," "The Shaliach" and "The One Night Stand")
* "The Canadian" (times 2 (included below); I switched from Israelis to Canadians; now I'm on religious guys! Yet I'm starting to pine away for "The One I Loved" from 3 years ago)
* "No-Personality" = "Let Me Take You Out So You Can Pay" = "The Overachiever / Great on Paper" guy (We both knew from Day 1 that it was going nowhere.)
* "No Chin" = "Sexy Dresser" = "Tall, Dark & Handsome" guy (It was intense & serious but not much else to say about him!)
* "Religious Yet NOT So Religious (If You Get My Drift)" guy
* "Perfect But There's No Spark" guy
* "Dorky but Adorable Newspaper Editor" guy
Only one JDater is described above, but I've dated my fair share of sketchy guys from that cesspool of cessationable (not sensational) men, and am skeptical about returning to it. (I'm especially skeptical of "The Penthouse" guy who got 2 chances from me.)
Speaking of which, anyone have any good stories from Saw You At Sinai (an online dating site with use of matchmakers)? I wonder if there will be a need for SawYouAtSinai-ers Anonymous...
Also, if you are a young single dating in Manhattan, it is imperative that you see the movie Crossing Delancey like yesterday. It is very funny and the premise is a young woman in her early 30s who isn't looking for love, but love is looking for her, in the form of a pickle vendor! Yeah for street vendors. Not only did my shoe salesman work in a store, but he worked at his dad's booth at the shuk, too. I know, I really know how to pick winners. It is still a source of amusement for my friends!
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
To Laugh Often
These wise words are fairly inspirational:
To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people,
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics,
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch...
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded!
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people,
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics,
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch...
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded!
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)