Double Whammy

I've always been sensitive to comments that people make about something being "retarded," "so gay," etc. Schizo was a term I never used to think as much about and used it occasionally myself to denote certain situations.

But now I am SO much more aware of how horrible it is to joke about mental issues, sexual preferences, etc. It's just so wrong.

Over the course of the last year or so, I have been faced with comments about bpd and had to cringe (can't say grin, in this case) and bear it. Last night there were two. I'm glad it was a sad movie because my teary eyes (and almost more) would have been normal if noticed.

Here were the two comments:
1. In the movie we were watching, there is a discussion about whether or not this woman was unfit to be a mother and about her husband threatening to hospitalize her. My friend's friend said, "It's nothing a little Lithium can't help." Yes, a mood stabilizer can (no shit) STABILIZE, but it can't CURE, and to make such a comment/joke was extremely insensitive and hurt me deep down.

2. Recently a friend of mine was having a helluva time with disputing a charge on her credit card. She went through several representatives who all told her different things and she was potentially going to lose hundreds of dollars. In describing ths situation, she threw up her arms and said, "They are just so bipolar/schizophrenic." Then she said she shouldn't have said that...i.e. realized it was an exaggeration and insensitive, because this is one of the sweetest people I know. To hear it come out of her mouth was a bit of a shock.

In any case, I'm sad.

The two types of cases (I'm apparently into lists tonight!) I've heard about BPD are:
1. the "success & struggle & ultimate triumph" stories of celebrities and others who have managed to publish books and have happy successful, if sometimes troubled, lives.

2. the sad stories of estrangement, alienation, troubled childhoods, strained relationships and weariness from having a mother/spouse/child with it (or depression or other mental problems).

I fear that my life will be more of #2 than #1. Not to sound like a broken record, but will I meet a man who can handle it all? What are the risks of devastation, etc. to my children? I will have to go off meds to be pregnant (I believe this is true, or perhaps it just majorly increases risks to baby's health) and potentially have major relapses. Is it worth it for me to pursue a conventional path of love, marriage, family? What if it gets all f'ed up because of my problems?

I wish I knew someone in my situation. A nice single Jewish girl in her 20s just trying to have a happy life, make ends meet, etc. There must be many out there, but I don't know where to find them. If you know someone, please put me in touch. It would be nice to have a pen-pal who could relate... singlegalnyc@hotmail.com