It Could Be Worse

Leave it to a stand-up comic to instill some inspiration in me. I don't exactly remember the context, but the point was all in the delivery. "It Could Be Worse." And it was funny. People laughed. A friend of mine performed too. He was one of the best comics there :)

Anyway, it (LIFE) could be worse. A guy stopped me politely on the street when I got out of the subway at midnight. He asked me if I was familiar with the pizza/deli place across the street. I said, "Not really. Why?" and he asked me if I could get him some pizza? So I said sure and accompanied him to the pizza place, making a bit of small talk on the way. I want to think I did it out of the kindness of my heart, but I think I also did it because I felt guilty that I hadn't yet fulfilled the Purim mitzvah of giving to the poor.

In any case, he gave me some perspective. I asked how long he's been in NYC and he said his whole life, and on the streets for two years. This pizza was the first food he was eating all day. I asked about food/soup kitchens and he said he goes, but they are not available every day. I asked if he had a place to sleep. "On the subway," he said. "Hopefully I'll crash after I eat this pizza."

I told him that I got a deal on bread: 2 loaves for $2 and told him where to get it. I suggested that it could last a couple weeks! He got excited when I brought this up.

He said his hands were cold. I gave him my gloves. He needs them more than I do. I have other pairs. Those are easily replaceable.

That's the story. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to eat pizza for an hour and pick his brain and hear about his "side of the tracks." (really bad pun NOT intended.)

Why is he worse off? Why doesn't he have family/friends to help him out? If I had a relative or friend in such a position, how much could I help? I could let someone crash with me for 2 weeks, but could I then dismiss him and sit idly by as he roams the streets begging for change?

I may b*tch and complain about lack of career path, lack of money/stress about finances, lack of motivation, frustration in finding a really good guy (with whom I am compatible and who has a big enough heart and strong enough feelings for me to deal with all of my MENTAL SHIT), this stifling city, and the *(*#@^$* bpd itself, but ultimately IT COULD BE WORSE.

Upon reflecting on this incident on my walk home, my brain briefly went into "manic mode," and I thought, "WOW, I could totally interview homeless people and gain so much perspective and put together a book about it and figure out ways to address the crisis." It makes me nervous when manic stuff comes out. Funnily enough, often it comes out in the form of, "Damn, that is SO F'N COOL. I should WRITE A BOOK about it and I could do this and this and this." Fortunately, I am not a dimwit and I recognize that when I bring this up, I'm starting to go manic.....or is that a mistake? Perhaps, I SHOULD be writing about issues that have a powerful impact on me...I mean, I am a strong writer and a great researcher... Hmmmm.... The fine line between normalcy and mania is frustrating as hell! I just don't know who I really am and what ideas/thoughts/plans/actions are reasonable and what is TOO off-the-wall.

....BUT IT COULD BE WORSE...