In a departure from my recent ramblings on how pathetic my life is (Note: this perception has not changed; life is still a wooden roller-coaster with loops), I'd like to thank PepGiraffe for inspiring this post of past boyfriends.
Disclaimer (for males): Sometimes for anonymity reasons, and sometimes for sheer amusement, women and their friends identify past, present & future suitors with mnemonically apt descriptors. (Yes, I made up the word "mnemonically"; I will take whatever poetic license I choose. Just don't mistake it for lack of intelligence.) This female tendency indicates a desire to remember lovingly, disregard wholly, mock amusingly and/or list nonsensically (as I will proceed to do here.) And I also must add that this phenomenon has become more prevalent among the masses following the introduction of the famous "Mr. Big" on Sex in the City.
These are my former suitors/lovers/boyfriends:
* "The Israeli" (times 4: "The Shoe Salesman," "The One I Loved," "The Shaliach" and "The One Night Stand")
* "The Canadian" (times 2 (included below); I switched from Israelis to Canadians; now I'm on religious guys! Yet I'm starting to pine away for "The One I Loved" from 3 years ago)
* "No-Personality" = "Let Me Take You Out So You Can Pay" = "The Overachiever / Great on Paper" guy (We both knew from Day 1 that it was going nowhere.)
* "No Chin" = "Sexy Dresser" = "Tall, Dark & Handsome" guy (It was intense & serious but not much else to say about him!)
* "Religious Yet NOT So Religious (If You Get My Drift)" guy
* "Perfect But There's No Spark" guy
* "Dorky but Adorable Newspaper Editor" guy
Only one JDater is described above, but I've dated my fair share of sketchy guys from that cesspool of cessationable (not sensational) men, and am skeptical about returning to it. (I'm especially skeptical of "The Penthouse" guy who got 2 chances from me.)
Speaking of which, anyone have any good stories from Saw You At Sinai (an online dating site with use of matchmakers)? I wonder if there will be a need for SawYouAtSinai-ers Anonymous...
Also, if you are a young single dating in Manhattan, it is imperative that you see the movie Crossing Delancey like yesterday. It is very funny and the premise is a young woman in her early 30s who isn't looking for love, but love is looking for her, in the form of a pickle vendor! Yeah for street vendors. Not only did my shoe salesman work in a store, but he worked at his dad's booth at the shuk, too. I know, I really know how to pick winners. It is still a source of amusement for my friends!
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
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4 comments:
Love Crossing Delancey. And love the pickle man. It helps that he's a cute pickle man.
I almost had a Canadian once, but that was at Club Med--isn't that exotic? And there have been several GOPs. (That's "good on paper.")
This is a little off topic..
I dated a girl once who wrote out a pro's and con's list about me. She created a mathematical formula to tabulate the results. She then read the list to me. I came out ahead. She then made me make a pro's and con's list for her.
Why do some gals have to scientifically determine if they like someone or not, or to decide if they should break up or stay together? I don't know any guys that do this but i'm sure some do.
When I like someone I know it because I FEEL it. I don't need a list to figure it out.
Yes, Canadians are a rare catch indeed. Polite, diplomatic, and always one to reach for the cheque (even if we try and pay in funny coloured money).
I've found myself perusing the blogs of a few NYJews, and I am somewhat taken with how cultured and interesting they appear.
Thanks,
Ryan in Toronto
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