This quote speaks for itself:
Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss
By the way, they sell Dr. Seuss books in Hebrew. Now that's a good test of Hebrew abilities and also lots of fun to read. Check out your local Judaica store!
For a graduation present, I received a book called Seuss-isms for Success: Insider Tips on Economic Health from the Good Doctor. It includes appropriate quotes from various books of Dr. S and the editor really managed to extract some great business lessons! The starting quote is most inspirational for me, and I need to keep it in mind as much as I did when I first graduated:
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
-Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Oh, how I want to go places....happiness-wise....and...to Israel (which should come as no surprise to my faithful readers.) And maybe career-wise, but truth be told, I am skeptical that there's anything out there that would satisfy me. I hate the proverbial corporate ladder and I can't stand bureaucracy. I just need to make some money to keep my head above water... More about this later and I will open the floor for suggestions once I outline my qualifications for everyone's reading pleasure.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Age of Ignorance: A Rant
Sometimes I have to wonder about the intellect of my fellow human beings. The following particular complaints are mathematical ones.
First of all, what is up with those tip cards? When people whip them out at restaurants, it seems they want to impress others with how savvy and prepared they are (as in, "Look how smooth I am; I brought condoms!" (i.e. "I knew I was gonna get some tonight!")) I just don't understand how it's so hard to calculate a tip. Some people (I think Bloomberg said this if I'm not mistaken) just double the tax (which is 8.25% in New York. He got trashed for leaving so little!)) More practically, it's mindless to move the decimal point one to the left to get 10%. Then either double it (for 20%, duh!) or take half of 10% and add it onto the 10% (for 15%). And there you have it! Singlegal's solution for the masses.
The next "Made for Stupid" thing I saw recently was a huge chart with a gazillion numbers on it. I was at DSW (which I believe stands for "Discount Shoe Warehouse") and this chart was a guide to pricing. Shoes were 20, 40, 60 or 80% off (though mysteriously, there seemed to be no shoes that were 80% off, and only a handful that were 60%. Damn those sneaky retailers..) The handy dandy chart listed each possible original price (in 10 cent increments or so) and what the new price would be with each of the 4 discounts. It was a sight to see and all those numbers made me a a bit dizzy. Why can't people find 10% and calculate from there? We all took high school math!
Lastly are those cash registers that dispense coins separately from bills when transacting a transaction. (Like that? That's my style!) As I think about it though, I am realizing that those cash registers might also serve the function to expedite transactions and keep customers waiting for a shorter time. I think they've got them at fast food joints where speed is definitely appreciated by the customers (and where the employees might very well be high school dropouts.)
---
On the other end of the spectrum (i.e. non-mathematical quirky grievances) are companies that find it appropriate to misspell their names or slogans to achieve marketing prowess. For example, there's Dunkin' Donuts, Rite Aid, Toys "R" Us, and many others that are eluding me right now.
And today, as I indulged in a Butterfinger, I was dismayed to see the slogan: "crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery!" For starters, it invents words (this is different from me inventing words for a blog; I wouldn't give a company an idiotic name or slogan) and those words don't even rhyme. For it to rhyme, it would have to be either "crispety, crunchety, peanut-butty(or buttety)" (all ending in "ty") or "crispery, crunchery, peanut-buttery." But I maintain that "crispy, crunchy, peanut-buttery" isn't all so terrible and still has the best ring to it!
---
Those are my complaints for today. Stay tuned for more in the future!
First of all, what is up with those tip cards? When people whip them out at restaurants, it seems they want to impress others with how savvy and prepared they are (as in, "Look how smooth I am; I brought condoms!" (i.e. "I knew I was gonna get some tonight!")) I just don't understand how it's so hard to calculate a tip. Some people (I think Bloomberg said this if I'm not mistaken) just double the tax (which is 8.25% in New York. He got trashed for leaving so little!)) More practically, it's mindless to move the decimal point one to the left to get 10%. Then either double it (for 20%, duh!) or take half of 10% and add it onto the 10% (for 15%). And there you have it! Singlegal's solution for the masses.
The next "Made for Stupid" thing I saw recently was a huge chart with a gazillion numbers on it. I was at DSW (which I believe stands for "Discount Shoe Warehouse") and this chart was a guide to pricing. Shoes were 20, 40, 60 or 80% off (though mysteriously, there seemed to be no shoes that were 80% off, and only a handful that were 60%. Damn those sneaky retailers..) The handy dandy chart listed each possible original price (in 10 cent increments or so) and what the new price would be with each of the 4 discounts. It was a sight to see and all those numbers made me a a bit dizzy. Why can't people find 10% and calculate from there? We all took high school math!
Lastly are those cash registers that dispense coins separately from bills when transacting a transaction. (Like that? That's my style!) As I think about it though, I am realizing that those cash registers might also serve the function to expedite transactions and keep customers waiting for a shorter time. I think they've got them at fast food joints where speed is definitely appreciated by the customers (and where the employees might very well be high school dropouts.)
---
On the other end of the spectrum (i.e. non-mathematical quirky grievances) are companies that find it appropriate to misspell their names or slogans to achieve marketing prowess. For example, there's Dunkin' Donuts, Rite Aid, Toys "R" Us, and many others that are eluding me right now.
And today, as I indulged in a Butterfinger, I was dismayed to see the slogan: "crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery!" For starters, it invents words (this is different from me inventing words for a blog; I wouldn't give a company an idiotic name or slogan) and those words don't even rhyme. For it to rhyme, it would have to be either "crispety, crunchety, peanut-butty(or buttety)" (all ending in "ty") or "crispery, crunchery, peanut-buttery." But I maintain that "crispy, crunchy, peanut-buttery" isn't all so terrible and still has the best ring to it!
---
Those are my complaints for today. Stay tuned for more in the future!
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
The Boyfriend Dramalogues
In a departure from my recent ramblings on how pathetic my life is (Note: this perception has not changed; life is still a wooden roller-coaster with loops), I'd like to thank PepGiraffe for inspiring this post of past boyfriends.
Disclaimer (for males): Sometimes for anonymity reasons, and sometimes for sheer amusement, women and their friends identify past, present & future suitors with mnemonically apt descriptors. (Yes, I made up the word "mnemonically"; I will take whatever poetic license I choose. Just don't mistake it for lack of intelligence.) This female tendency indicates a desire to remember lovingly, disregard wholly, mock amusingly and/or list nonsensically (as I will proceed to do here.) And I also must add that this phenomenon has become more prevalent among the masses following the introduction of the famous "Mr. Big" on Sex in the City.
These are my former suitors/lovers/boyfriends:
* "The Israeli" (times 4: "The Shoe Salesman," "The One I Loved," "The Shaliach" and "The One Night Stand")
* "The Canadian" (times 2 (included below); I switched from Israelis to Canadians; now I'm on religious guys! Yet I'm starting to pine away for "The One I Loved" from 3 years ago)
* "No-Personality" = "Let Me Take You Out So You Can Pay" = "The Overachiever / Great on Paper" guy (We both knew from Day 1 that it was going nowhere.)
* "No Chin" = "Sexy Dresser" = "Tall, Dark & Handsome" guy (It was intense & serious but not much else to say about him!)
* "Religious Yet NOT So Religious (If You Get My Drift)" guy
* "Perfect But There's No Spark" guy
* "Dorky but Adorable Newspaper Editor" guy
Only one JDater is described above, but I've dated my fair share of sketchy guys from that cesspool of cessationable (not sensational) men, and am skeptical about returning to it. (I'm especially skeptical of "The Penthouse" guy who got 2 chances from me.)
Speaking of which, anyone have any good stories from Saw You At Sinai (an online dating site with use of matchmakers)? I wonder if there will be a need for SawYouAtSinai-ers Anonymous...
Also, if you are a young single dating in Manhattan, it is imperative that you see the movie Crossing Delancey like yesterday. It is very funny and the premise is a young woman in her early 30s who isn't looking for love, but love is looking for her, in the form of a pickle vendor! Yeah for street vendors. Not only did my shoe salesman work in a store, but he worked at his dad's booth at the shuk, too. I know, I really know how to pick winners. It is still a source of amusement for my friends!
Disclaimer (for males): Sometimes for anonymity reasons, and sometimes for sheer amusement, women and their friends identify past, present & future suitors with mnemonically apt descriptors. (Yes, I made up the word "mnemonically"; I will take whatever poetic license I choose. Just don't mistake it for lack of intelligence.) This female tendency indicates a desire to remember lovingly, disregard wholly, mock amusingly and/or list nonsensically (as I will proceed to do here.) And I also must add that this phenomenon has become more prevalent among the masses following the introduction of the famous "Mr. Big" on Sex in the City.
These are my former suitors/lovers/boyfriends:
* "The Israeli" (times 4: "The Shoe Salesman," "The One I Loved," "The Shaliach" and "The One Night Stand")
* "The Canadian" (times 2 (included below); I switched from Israelis to Canadians; now I'm on religious guys! Yet I'm starting to pine away for "The One I Loved" from 3 years ago)
* "No-Personality" = "Let Me Take You Out So You Can Pay" = "The Overachiever / Great on Paper" guy (We both knew from Day 1 that it was going nowhere.)
* "No Chin" = "Sexy Dresser" = "Tall, Dark & Handsome" guy (It was intense & serious but not much else to say about him!)
* "Religious Yet NOT So Religious (If You Get My Drift)" guy
* "Perfect But There's No Spark" guy
* "Dorky but Adorable Newspaper Editor" guy
Only one JDater is described above, but I've dated my fair share of sketchy guys from that cesspool of cessationable (not sensational) men, and am skeptical about returning to it. (I'm especially skeptical of "The Penthouse" guy who got 2 chances from me.)
Speaking of which, anyone have any good stories from Saw You At Sinai (an online dating site with use of matchmakers)? I wonder if there will be a need for SawYouAtSinai-ers Anonymous...
Also, if you are a young single dating in Manhattan, it is imperative that you see the movie Crossing Delancey like yesterday. It is very funny and the premise is a young woman in her early 30s who isn't looking for love, but love is looking for her, in the form of a pickle vendor! Yeah for street vendors. Not only did my shoe salesman work in a store, but he worked at his dad's booth at the shuk, too. I know, I really know how to pick winners. It is still a source of amusement for my friends!
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
To Laugh Often
These wise words are fairly inspirational:
To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people,
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics,
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch...
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded!
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people,
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics,
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch...
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded!
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thursday, September 23, 2004
What a Difference!
Wow, well I am feelng a lot better and I guess I can attribute it to the increased dosage of my mood stabilizer, in addition to my life stabilizing le'at le'at (slowly slowly). The last post from this Monday was a little exaggerated because I was describing events and feelings I had the previous week, so my road to recovery hasn't been *quite* this dramatic.
And I almost have new roommates the search for whom has been a harrowing experience, to say the least! I'm starting to entertain potential career directions and active steps I can take to research organizations/firms and secure work. And no bf on the horizon which doesn't matter b/c I am quite happy to be SINGLEGALNYC. So apropos that I chose that pseudonym/moniker (i like both words & couldn't choose), eh??
Yay, I'm excited for life again! And a week ago I was so convinced that life couldn't get any worse and couldn't be worth living. I hope that these episodes subside b/c with any regularity, they will wreak havoc on my life and prevent me from maintaining stable relationships with people and holding down jobs.
Ze oh! (That's all (folks))
And I almost have new roommates the search for whom has been a harrowing experience, to say the least! I'm starting to entertain potential career directions and active steps I can take to research organizations/firms and secure work. And no bf on the horizon which doesn't matter b/c I am quite happy to be SINGLEGALNYC. So apropos that I chose that pseudonym/moniker (i like both words & couldn't choose), eh??
Yay, I'm excited for life again! And a week ago I was so convinced that life couldn't get any worse and couldn't be worth living. I hope that these episodes subside b/c with any regularity, they will wreak havoc on my life and prevent me from maintaining stable relationships with people and holding down jobs.
Ze oh! (That's all (folks))
Monday, September 20, 2004
Back to Square One... that is, Negative One
First of all, apologies to my loyal readers for my unexplained absence. This can, in fact, be attributed to my recent trip to Israel as a deputy diplomat in the department of peace-keeping efforts and hasbara-associated conflagrations. Actually, I've just been busy dealing with life and contemplating "next steps" regarding said life, specifically the choice between work or play. Just kidding, work or grad school. I wish that "play" were an option. In any case, I digress and will return to this subject at another date, but first a note from the editor....
------
Ed. Note: This blog was not intended to be a diary of the ups and downs of my life (and illness). For that purpose, I keep a personal journal (a written one, if you can believe it.) In the future, this blog may once again address interesting observations of trains, planes & automobiles (ie subways, world affairs & navigating city life), not to exclude* specific elements of 20-something NYC life, such as dating, social life, religion, politics, demographics, advertising, shopping, driving, touristing, etc., to be supplemented by my very own commentary & analysis on Judaism, Israel and the matzav. Despite the ready availability of my journal (yes, it calls out to me), I find opening up to an audience of strangers to be strangely satisfying. Even if you don't comment (which I wish you would!), it's nice to know that people out there are learning about the tumultuous experiences of someone with bipolar disorder. (1 in every 100 people suffer from it.)
*Isn't "not to exclude" so much more apropos than "not to mention," which itself is a contradiction?
-------
Yes, that's BIPOLAR DISORDER. That's what I have and I'm proud (proud?) to share it with you. I was previously battling depression, with doctors' suspicions that I was bipolar based on a questionable manic episode a few years ago. The suspicion was confirmed after this most recent bout. My immediate family, a few friends and all my roommates are "in-the-know." (This makes for a grand total of about 12.) Yet, I don't want others to know because it seems like a drastic omen, plus there is a negative perception of mental illnesses among the general public. (I am not an institutionalized psycho; that was my ex-roommate!) Moreover, pity is the last thing I want from people.
Unfortunately, just when I thought I was on the mend, the upswing, toward normalcy, from my recent manic episode, I took a turn for the worse. Apparently it's not so uncommon to veer into a depression immediately following a manic period. However, it caught me by surprise and I am shocked at how low I can go.
When I encountered my (first?) most severe incident of depression, I was calling my mother every day, crying. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Hell, I didn't even see a tunnel. I thought my life was so terrible... and this all happened at a point in my life when I had just moved to Manhattan, had a great new apartment, a new job, a new boyfriend and everything on the outside seemed spectacular whereas I was falling apart on the inside.
Well now, it's fortunate that I'm well-medicated because if I was in such a state then, when everything seemed so rosy, I don't know where I'd be otherwise right now. I am currently in a state of flux in regards to every aspect of my life: apartment, job, boyfriend. I really could care less that I am boyfriend-less now (that guy about whom I was *so* excited is out of the picture), but I would certainly appreciate some direction from someone (G-d??) about what the heck I am meant to do with my life -- professionally, academically and how I can make the world a better place...
I know that sounds hokey; it was meant to... it was a hyperbole of sorts. I've been reading the book Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynn Truss. If you haven't heard of it, let me tell you that is something I should have written myself. It rails against the plummeting standards of punctuation (and grammar, to a degree), and while originally geared toward "the select few," it has achieved great success both in the UK and here. The author's hilarious style makes for an entertaining read with which any literate person can identify.
Back to me me me and me. It's nice to have a captive (okay, cursorily passing through) audience. If anything whatsoever resonates or you wish to comment, commend, criticize or query me, feel free to do so. Actually, you can hold off on the criticism, unless it's very gentle or very urgent (or simply urgentle).
I am in such a pathetic state right now. I have no idea where I'm going, what I'm doing, etc. I am feeling so low that I am avoiding phone calls and interactions with friends and family because I have nothing to say of note about my life. This is particularly an issue with those people who don't know about my condition. I told my mom that I don't know what to say when people inevitably ask, "How are you?" Her suggested responses were "I've been better" and "Hangin' in there." Not too bad for getting past the initial minute of a phone call, but past that is pretty tricky.
Today, I was asked how my book was coming along. This book is something that I came up with in the midst of my manic episode. I emailed about 25 of my closest friends to share with them this endeavor (minus details about my illness) and request their input about their experiences as post-college 20-somethings. I was going to share my groundbreaking and unique experience with others, focusing on what it's like to be bipolar (whoa, scary to write it like that.. ie to BE bipolar), and specific to the other components of my life: NYC, religion, single life and one other that I do not recall. I do think I have a lot to say (as I always do!), but whether it's fodder for a whole book is another story. Anyway, I still think it's a bit unique in that quarter-life-crisis meets memoirs-of-the-mentally-ill kind of way.
That's all for tonight, folks! Laila tov.
P.S. Shana tova to all! May you have a sweet, healthy, happy & properous year ahead!
------
Ed. Note: This blog was not intended to be a diary of the ups and downs of my life (and illness). For that purpose, I keep a personal journal (a written one, if you can believe it.) In the future, this blog may once again address interesting observations of trains, planes & automobiles (ie subways, world affairs & navigating city life), not to exclude* specific elements of 20-something NYC life, such as dating, social life, religion, politics, demographics, advertising, shopping, driving, touristing, etc., to be supplemented by my very own commentary & analysis on Judaism, Israel and the matzav. Despite the ready availability of my journal (yes, it calls out to me), I find opening up to an audience of strangers to be strangely satisfying. Even if you don't comment (which I wish you would!), it's nice to know that people out there are learning about the tumultuous experiences of someone with bipolar disorder. (1 in every 100 people suffer from it.)
*Isn't "not to exclude" so much more apropos than "not to mention," which itself is a contradiction?
-------
Yes, that's BIPOLAR DISORDER. That's what I have and I'm proud (proud?) to share it with you. I was previously battling depression, with doctors' suspicions that I was bipolar based on a questionable manic episode a few years ago. The suspicion was confirmed after this most recent bout. My immediate family, a few friends and all my roommates are "in-the-know." (This makes for a grand total of about 12.) Yet, I don't want others to know because it seems like a drastic omen, plus there is a negative perception of mental illnesses among the general public. (I am not an institutionalized psycho; that was my ex-roommate!) Moreover, pity is the last thing I want from people.
Unfortunately, just when I thought I was on the mend, the upswing, toward normalcy, from my recent manic episode, I took a turn for the worse. Apparently it's not so uncommon to veer into a depression immediately following a manic period. However, it caught me by surprise and I am shocked at how low I can go.
When I encountered my (first?) most severe incident of depression, I was calling my mother every day, crying. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Hell, I didn't even see a tunnel. I thought my life was so terrible... and this all happened at a point in my life when I had just moved to Manhattan, had a great new apartment, a new job, a new boyfriend and everything on the outside seemed spectacular whereas I was falling apart on the inside.
Well now, it's fortunate that I'm well-medicated because if I was in such a state then, when everything seemed so rosy, I don't know where I'd be otherwise right now. I am currently in a state of flux in regards to every aspect of my life: apartment, job, boyfriend. I really could care less that I am boyfriend-less now (that guy about whom I was *so* excited is out of the picture), but I would certainly appreciate some direction from someone (G-d??) about what the heck I am meant to do with my life -- professionally, academically and how I can make the world a better place...
I know that sounds hokey; it was meant to... it was a hyperbole of sorts. I've been reading the book Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynn Truss. If you haven't heard of it, let me tell you that is something I should have written myself. It rails against the plummeting standards of punctuation (and grammar, to a degree), and while originally geared toward "the select few," it has achieved great success both in the UK and here. The author's hilarious style makes for an entertaining read with which any literate person can identify.
Back to me me me and me. It's nice to have a captive (okay, cursorily passing through) audience. If anything whatsoever resonates or you wish to comment, commend, criticize or query me, feel free to do so. Actually, you can hold off on the criticism, unless it's very gentle or very urgent (or simply urgentle).
I am in such a pathetic state right now. I have no idea where I'm going, what I'm doing, etc. I am feeling so low that I am avoiding phone calls and interactions with friends and family because I have nothing to say of note about my life. This is particularly an issue with those people who don't know about my condition. I told my mom that I don't know what to say when people inevitably ask, "How are you?" Her suggested responses were "I've been better" and "Hangin' in there." Not too bad for getting past the initial minute of a phone call, but past that is pretty tricky.
Today, I was asked how my book was coming along. This book is something that I came up with in the midst of my manic episode. I emailed about 25 of my closest friends to share with them this endeavor (minus details about my illness) and request their input about their experiences as post-college 20-somethings. I was going to share my groundbreaking and unique experience with others, focusing on what it's like to be bipolar (whoa, scary to write it like that.. ie to BE bipolar), and specific to the other components of my life: NYC, religion, single life and one other that I do not recall. I do think I have a lot to say (as I always do!), but whether it's fodder for a whole book is another story. Anyway, I still think it's a bit unique in that quarter-life-crisis meets memoirs-of-the-mentally-ill kind of way.
That's all for tonight, folks! Laila tov.
P.S. Shana tova to all! May you have a sweet, healthy, happy & properous year ahead!
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Back to Reality....Sort Of...
I'm back in the City this weekend!! I came on Thursday and have been enjoying it and feeling (almost) back to my old self. It's really nice to be here and to be engaged in a regular life of work (okay, interviews..), social life and home (with roommates as opposed to my mishpucha.)
I keep wondering though if I'm really the same as the old me, and then predictably contemplating what the heck constituted the old me... Am I talking and laughing too much? Do I uncharacteristically appear melancholy or am I too quiet sometimes? Is it apparent when I zone out in social situations or fudge some facts to explain why I haven't been around ("I've spent a lot of weekends out at my parents' pool") or what I'm currently doing professionally (the answer is "freelancing," but "between jobs" if pressed for details)? I guess only time will tell. That is, I'll have better insight over time, particularly self-observation of the dynamics of my personality changing with my illness. It's such a frustrating thing [my personality] to feel a lack of control over. Where is the real me?? Hidden behind some elusive facade perchance?
Anyway, since Thursday, I've accomplished/done the following:
* Had 2 job interviews
* Had a pizza/park date
* Made a new friend
* Saw old friends/acquaintances at Shabbat meals + out on Sat night
* Heard from everyone "I haven't seen you in SO long!"
* Went out to a b-day party at a bar
* Went to synagogue
* Observed Shabbat almost 100% this week (complete with my brand-new, too-cold-for-25-hours air conditioner and nifty nightlight)
In terms of not being back to my old self... well, in 2 weeks I've gained 19 pounds (!!) and am quite bummed that barely any of my pants/skirts fit (and the ones that do simply don't fall how they used to). I lost 6 pounds a couple weeks ago and it was depressingly followed by this ballooning effect that is unfortunately a common side effect of my medications. Argh! A careful regimen of limited caloric intake coupled with regular exercise (in which I am finally allowed to partake again) should enable me to take it off again, but oy vey!
And this after a productive start early this summer of running in the park (that is Central Park) and lofty (but then realistic) goals of losing 12 pounds by Sept 1st and another 20 lbs. by Jan 1st. I guess the January goal is still possible. I actually don't really care so much what the # on the scale says (that's a pun--get it? #=number=pound), but rather how I look and feel about my body. Being in shape is very important to me and I feel better (physically and self-confidence-wise) when I am in a mode of regularly working out.
Anyway, I'm not sure when I'm leaving the city yet, but I'll probably stay a few more days...then I've got another wedding out-of-town next weekend. They're dropping like flies!
I keep wondering though if I'm really the same as the old me, and then predictably contemplating what the heck constituted the old me... Am I talking and laughing too much? Do I uncharacteristically appear melancholy or am I too quiet sometimes? Is it apparent when I zone out in social situations or fudge some facts to explain why I haven't been around ("I've spent a lot of weekends out at my parents' pool") or what I'm currently doing professionally (the answer is "freelancing," but "between jobs" if pressed for details)? I guess only time will tell. That is, I'll have better insight over time, particularly self-observation of the dynamics of my personality changing with my illness. It's such a frustrating thing [my personality] to feel a lack of control over. Where is the real me?? Hidden behind some elusive facade perchance?
Anyway, since Thursday, I've accomplished/done the following:
* Had 2 job interviews
* Had a pizza/park date
* Made a new friend
* Saw old friends/acquaintances at Shabbat meals + out on Sat night
* Heard from everyone "I haven't seen you in SO long!"
* Went out to a b-day party at a bar
* Went to synagogue
* Observed Shabbat almost 100% this week (complete with my brand-new, too-cold-for-25-hours air conditioner and nifty nightlight)
In terms of not being back to my old self... well, in 2 weeks I've gained 19 pounds (!!) and am quite bummed that barely any of my pants/skirts fit (and the ones that do simply don't fall how they used to). I lost 6 pounds a couple weeks ago and it was depressingly followed by this ballooning effect that is unfortunately a common side effect of my medications. Argh! A careful regimen of limited caloric intake coupled with regular exercise (in which I am finally allowed to partake again) should enable me to take it off again, but oy vey!
And this after a productive start early this summer of running in the park (that is Central Park) and lofty (but then realistic) goals of losing 12 pounds by Sept 1st and another 20 lbs. by Jan 1st. I guess the January goal is still possible. I actually don't really care so much what the # on the scale says (that's a pun--get it? #=number=pound), but rather how I look and feel about my body. Being in shape is very important to me and I feel better (physically and self-confidence-wise) when I am in a mode of regularly working out.
Anyway, I'm not sure when I'm leaving the city yet, but I'll probably stay a few more days...then I've got another wedding out-of-town next weekend. They're dropping like flies!
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Blurry Lines
The big question for me recently has been: "Where does my sickness end and my personality begin?" And vice versa, of course.
What this means in reality is the following: If I get overly pissed off for something trivial (but it *could* be as justified as I perceive), how should I attribute that? Is it ME or is it my ILLNESS? I am being completely serious here. Irritability is a dimension of what I'm undergoing right now.
I get very nervous, because I feel as though the guy I'm seeing has not really "seen" or "experienced" the "REAL" me. However, he thinks he has, and G-d bless him for his patience to see what the "REAL" me is really like because I've definitely done some things which lacked my own better judgment.
Finally, I'll be back in the Big Apple tomorrow and we have a date. (Ed. note: I've been out of the city getting better for the last 15 days.)
When will my judgment return? How will I know that the real me is back and getting pissed off at the waiter is legitimately fair and not outrageously ridiculous? Where is my personality barometer??
Cheers...
What this means in reality is the following: If I get overly pissed off for something trivial (but it *could* be as justified as I perceive), how should I attribute that? Is it ME or is it my ILLNESS? I am being completely serious here. Irritability is a dimension of what I'm undergoing right now.
I get very nervous, because I feel as though the guy I'm seeing has not really "seen" or "experienced" the "REAL" me. However, he thinks he has, and G-d bless him for his patience to see what the "REAL" me is really like because I've definitely done some things which lacked my own better judgment.
Finally, I'll be back in the Big Apple tomorrow and we have a date. (Ed. note: I've been out of the city getting better for the last 15 days.)
When will my judgment return? How will I know that the real me is back and getting pissed off at the waiter is legitimately fair and not outrageously ridiculous? Where is my personality barometer??
Cheers...
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Nothing to say except...
...I'm missing a wedding today and I'm majorly bummed.
Just bought my sister a book she wanted to thank her for being so awesome.
Otherwise did nothing today but mope around. Lucky me. Lucky you to read about it.
Something more exciting to be written in the near future, I promise. Don't stop visiting. Please don't.
Please don't go... Please don't goooooooowhooaaaaa.... Please don't go away... Please don't go
Heh. Gotta love old-school music (I'm so old!) For those too young or out of the loop, I actually forgot the band.. it was a group of four black guys. They also did, "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday," which I also happen to love... Very catchy tunes...
Ta-ta for now...
Just bought my sister a book she wanted to thank her for being so awesome.
Otherwise did nothing today but mope around. Lucky me. Lucky you to read about it.
Something more exciting to be written in the near future, I promise. Don't stop visiting. Please don't.
Please don't go... Please don't goooooooowhooaaaaa.... Please don't go away... Please don't go
Heh. Gotta love old-school music (I'm so old!) For those too young or out of the loop, I actually forgot the band.. it was a group of four black guys. They also did, "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday," which I also happen to love... Very catchy tunes...
Ta-ta for now...
Monday, July 26, 2004
TOP TEN LIST OF MY FEARS...
1. I will never recuperate; recovery time is 2-4 weeks; but I am terrified that I will never be fully "stable," and will need to rely on drugs the rest of my life.
2. I will lose my boyfriend. Sounds flaky (which is totally not me), but I met him just over 2 months ago and am falling head over heels for him. We are currently on a hafsaka (ie break), but I am praying that he doesn't meet someone else. We are SO well-suited for each other -- same hashkafa (life outlook, particularly re: religion), same values, etc. We've had some AMAZING conversations to date and I *really* like him (in that silly cheezy 80s movie kinda way.... e.g. "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," which I just saw, and stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Helen Hunt & Shannon Doherty, circa 1985 or so! Yeah '80s!)
3. I will not be able to participate in the simchas of my good friends (e.g. 5 upcoming weddings for friends; 4 in the next month, 1 of which is out of town, as is the one this winter.) If I'm not better, I might not be able to go to these things, which makes me *VERY* sad :( I already had to cancel going to one, but that wasn't a big deal b/c it was family I'm not so close to (and it was an intermarriage; is that wrong to not feel bad about having skipped out?)......but my friends are another story.. The next wedding is one for which I went to my friend's dress fitting and she looked so beautiful. I must be there... he(ck) or highwater I'll be there, darn it! (I'm trying so hard to swear, yet I've been sounding like a sailor as of late...)
4. I will screw up more jobs. I've literally been fired from every job I've ever had. One was b/c they couldn't afford to make me FT (even though they *loved* me -- back in 2001), one was for cause (sort of; my mental probs caused a lack of focus which precluded me from producing the work they wanted to see and which I was easily capable of doing), next was b/c the guy was a shmuck and it was a shlocky rinky-dink firm, next was freelance and the rel'ship was mutually terminated and the most recent was apparently for "cause" but I think I might have a lawsuit on my hands, b/c it was absolutely ridiculous.... granted, I joined the firm while I was still ill (against the better judgment of my psychiatrist, parents, etc.)
5. I will die of a coma or overdose or from fainting and hitting my head in the shower or something. (Pleasant thoughts, right?)
6. Stigmatization (did i just make up that word; i should be a lexicologist... or lexiconogist): My dr. tries to reassure me: "Oh, don't worry if people know; half of NY sees therapists and are on meds," but it simply doesn't reassure me. I don't want people to think I am WEAK and need to RELY on meds in order to make myself feel good. Really, I'm not one of these snooty UES primadonnas who needs to spend $1000/day on clothes & shoes and talks to her therapist 4 times a week. Blegch.. what a nightmare. That is SO not me. In fact, what I've got totally runs in my family (LUCKY GENES) and earliest manifestations of it were witnessed by myself and others (but not identified) back in 2000-2001 (BTW, none of this is 9/11-related. I am quite blase when it comes to that, having been in Israel at the time, and been so familiar with terrorism there...)
7. Alienating friends and family due to my crazy antics...
8. Going totally broke and having to give up my kicka$$ NYC apartment...
9. Getting caught being online (I feel like a rebellious teenager who has to sneak around)
10. Losing the battle of LIFE!! (I already lost the game (original version; the coolest ever) to one of my good friends; she just happened to get a better job in the game, darn lucky girl ;) ) She's also a sore loser though, so it was for the best that she prevailed.... However, I'm a sore loser, too, so were a poor game-playing match! Speaking of games, I know 2 people who met at the JCC Game Night and subsequently got married!! So whatever your cup of tea, if you make an effort to be social within your interests, you will find your besheret (ie "The One," Prince Charming, Mr. Right)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS Can you tell how manic I am from this post?? All my posts will probably resemble this one for awhile.... and I'm not even supposed to be online (OOPS! :) Sorry fam+doc!)
2. I will lose my boyfriend. Sounds flaky (which is totally not me), but I met him just over 2 months ago and am falling head over heels for him. We are currently on a hafsaka (ie break), but I am praying that he doesn't meet someone else. We are SO well-suited for each other -- same hashkafa (life outlook, particularly re: religion), same values, etc. We've had some AMAZING conversations to date and I *really* like him (in that silly cheezy 80s movie kinda way.... e.g. "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," which I just saw, and stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Helen Hunt & Shannon Doherty, circa 1985 or so! Yeah '80s!)
3. I will not be able to participate in the simchas of my good friends (e.g. 5 upcoming weddings for friends; 4 in the next month, 1 of which is out of town, as is the one this winter.) If I'm not better, I might not be able to go to these things, which makes me *VERY* sad :( I already had to cancel going to one, but that wasn't a big deal b/c it was family I'm not so close to (and it was an intermarriage; is that wrong to not feel bad about having skipped out?)......but my friends are another story.. The next wedding is one for which I went to my friend's dress fitting and she looked so beautiful. I must be there... he(ck) or highwater I'll be there, darn it! (I'm trying so hard to swear, yet I've been sounding like a sailor as of late...)
4. I will screw up more jobs. I've literally been fired from every job I've ever had. One was b/c they couldn't afford to make me FT (even though they *loved* me -- back in 2001), one was for cause (sort of; my mental probs caused a lack of focus which precluded me from producing the work they wanted to see and which I was easily capable of doing), next was b/c the guy was a shmuck and it was a shlocky rinky-dink firm, next was freelance and the rel'ship was mutually terminated and the most recent was apparently for "cause" but I think I might have a lawsuit on my hands, b/c it was absolutely ridiculous.... granted, I joined the firm while I was still ill (against the better judgment of my psychiatrist, parents, etc.)
5. I will die of a coma or overdose or from fainting and hitting my head in the shower or something. (Pleasant thoughts, right?)
6. Stigmatization (did i just make up that word; i should be a lexicologist... or lexiconogist): My dr. tries to reassure me: "Oh, don't worry if people know; half of NY sees therapists and are on meds," but it simply doesn't reassure me. I don't want people to think I am WEAK and need to RELY on meds in order to make myself feel good. Really, I'm not one of these snooty UES primadonnas who needs to spend $1000/day on clothes & shoes and talks to her therapist 4 times a week. Blegch.. what a nightmare. That is SO not me. In fact, what I've got totally runs in my family (LUCKY GENES) and earliest manifestations of it were witnessed by myself and others (but not identified) back in 2000-2001 (BTW, none of this is 9/11-related. I am quite blase when it comes to that, having been in Israel at the time, and been so familiar with terrorism there...)
7. Alienating friends and family due to my crazy antics...
8. Going totally broke and having to give up my kicka$$ NYC apartment...
9. Getting caught being online (I feel like a rebellious teenager who has to sneak around)
10. Losing the battle of LIFE!! (I already lost the game (original version; the coolest ever) to one of my good friends; she just happened to get a better job in the game, darn lucky girl ;) ) She's also a sore loser though, so it was for the best that she prevailed.... However, I'm a sore loser, too, so were a poor game-playing match! Speaking of games, I know 2 people who met at the JCC Game Night and subsequently got married!! So whatever your cup of tea, if you make an effort to be social within your interests, you will find your besheret (ie "The One," Prince Charming, Mr. Right)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS Can you tell how manic I am from this post?? All my posts will probably resemble this one for awhile.... and I'm not even supposed to be online (OOPS! :) Sorry fam+doc!)
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Um yeah....
That new job didn't quite work out. I'm pretty upset, but it gives me time to heal b/c I am suffering from a major mental illness right now.
Besides the "sex life" issue, this was one other reason I wanted to keep my blog anonymous. I'd like to be able to speak openly about everything, be it my political, sexual, spiritual or mental opinions and conditions (and positions ;) )
Heh, anyway, part of my illness prohibits (or at least severely limits) my online time... e.g. once every 3 days, which is why I haven't been able to post lately. Once I'm on the road to recovery, I'll certainly post, b/c I have lots of thoughts about everything I've gone through.
Gotta jet....
Thanks in advance for everyone's support and understanding .
Besides the "sex life" issue, this was one other reason I wanted to keep my blog anonymous. I'd like to be able to speak openly about everything, be it my political, sexual, spiritual or mental opinions and conditions (and positions ;) )
Heh, anyway, part of my illness prohibits (or at least severely limits) my online time... e.g. once every 3 days, which is why I haven't been able to post lately. Once I'm on the road to recovery, I'll certainly post, b/c I have lots of thoughts about everything I've gone through.
Gotta jet....
Thanks in advance for everyone's support and understanding .
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
HIATUS
I am on a brief hiatus but will be back soon with lots of exciting posts (many currently in draft form, about my life, current events, Jewish stuff, etc.)
I am starting a new job later this month (YAY!!) :) and am too busy with other tachlis right now to be dealing with this blog.
.....BUT STAY POSTED.....
:)
I am starting a new job later this month (YAY!!) :) and am too busy with other tachlis right now to be dealing with this blog.
.....BUT STAY POSTED.....
:)
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Ending the War on Terrorism
Below are some interesting thoughts from Thomas Friedman at the NYT. He proposes a headline of "Bush Administration Calls an End to the 'War on Terrorism'" as one he'd like to see during his 3-month sabbatical to write a book. What he has to say here is sage..... [parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme...I *LOVE* Simon & Garfunkel...When's their next concert?....*end tangent*] Here's the quote:
Bush Administration Calls an End to the "War on Terrorism." No, I haven't taken leave of my senses on the way out the door. I realize that we have enemies and they need to be confronted. But I do not want this to be all that America is about in the world anymore, and that is what has happened under this administration. I don't want the rest of my career to be about an America that exports fear, not hope, and ends up importing everyone else's fears as a result. I don't want it to be about explaining to young Chinese why my government can't give them student visas anymore. I don't want it to be about visiting U.S. Embassies around the world and finding them so isolated behind barbed wire, they might as well not be there at all. Defeating "them" has begun to define "us" in too many ways.
America is so much more than just "Anti-Al-Qaeda Inc." — but our whole identity in the world, and too many aspects of our way of life, are getting contorted around that mission. If we're really having a relevant presidential campaign, I'll come back and find the candidates debating, not who is the "toughest" guy — the jungle is full of them — but who can be the toughest guy while preserving the best of what we had and the best of who we are.
Friedman is correct about this Administration's obsession with defeating terror. Perhaps the obsession is interfering with the ability to implement anti-terrorist measures effectively. I don't think a "war on terror" is the answer, but the U.S. certainly has a great deal of catch-up to play in terms of intelligence (e.g. far too few Arabic speakers and Middle East experts) and security for all its citizens. Could someone possibly identify the goals which the war in Iraq has successfully (or even semi-successfully) met?
Israel prevented 12 suicide bombings in the month of June. There has not been a suicide bombing in 3 months. Security for citizens (Jews and Arabs alike) is paramount and difficult though it may be, executing proper security measures necessitates stripping people of some of their freedoms. Ethnic background is inevitably a factor in how highly someone is suspected, simply based on experience, not racism.
I was in Israel on September 11, 2001. My family and friends were terrified for me. I was *GLAD* I was there and not in the States. I felt *SAFER* there and still *DO* feel safer there. After all, I now live in the place where utter chaos erupted three years ago... And I am quite pessimistic about what the future holds and what are enemies are no doubt planning... Maybe I will make aliyah. There is no place like home...
Bush Administration Calls an End to the "War on Terrorism." No, I haven't taken leave of my senses on the way out the door. I realize that we have enemies and they need to be confronted. But I do not want this to be all that America is about in the world anymore, and that is what has happened under this administration. I don't want the rest of my career to be about an America that exports fear, not hope, and ends up importing everyone else's fears as a result. I don't want it to be about explaining to young Chinese why my government can't give them student visas anymore. I don't want it to be about visiting U.S. Embassies around the world and finding them so isolated behind barbed wire, they might as well not be there at all. Defeating "them" has begun to define "us" in too many ways.
America is so much more than just "Anti-Al-Qaeda Inc." — but our whole identity in the world, and too many aspects of our way of life, are getting contorted around that mission. If we're really having a relevant presidential campaign, I'll come back and find the candidates debating, not who is the "toughest" guy — the jungle is full of them — but who can be the toughest guy while preserving the best of what we had and the best of who we are.
Friedman is correct about this Administration's obsession with defeating terror. Perhaps the obsession is interfering with the ability to implement anti-terrorist measures effectively. I don't think a "war on terror" is the answer, but the U.S. certainly has a great deal of catch-up to play in terms of intelligence (e.g. far too few Arabic speakers and Middle East experts) and security for all its citizens. Could someone possibly identify the goals which the war in Iraq has successfully (or even semi-successfully) met?
Israel prevented 12 suicide bombings in the month of June. There has not been a suicide bombing in 3 months. Security for citizens (Jews and Arabs alike) is paramount and difficult though it may be, executing proper security measures necessitates stripping people of some of their freedoms. Ethnic background is inevitably a factor in how highly someone is suspected, simply based on experience, not racism.
I was in Israel on September 11, 2001. My family and friends were terrified for me. I was *GLAD* I was there and not in the States. I felt *SAFER* there and still *DO* feel safer there. After all, I now live in the place where utter chaos erupted three years ago... And I am quite pessimistic about what the future holds and what are enemies are no doubt planning... Maybe I will make aliyah. There is no place like home...
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Dial 911 for Fahrenheit 9/11?
Yesterday was the NYC premiere of Michael Moore's most recent controversial soapbox hit, Fahrenheit 9/11. I stopped by Lincoln Square Cinemas to discover that the 6 evening performances (playing in 3 theaters) for last night were all sold out. Any bets on how high it will place on the "Box Office Hits" list?
I'm not a particularly "political" person, but it will be interesting to see how this film alters the public discourse and even potentially affects the upcoming presidential election. I'm definitely planning on seeing it soon, but I don't expect to endorse it wholeheartedly. I plan to take everything with a grain of salt, and hopefully with further motivation to read up on IR and US public policy. (How I miss the intellectually stimulating college days...)
Speaking of which, Michael Moore admonishes Congressmen for not having read the text of the USA PATRIOT ACT. Have you? Here it is in pdf or html. By the way, PATRIOT is an acronym for:
P roviding
A ppropriate
T ools
R equired to
I ntercept and
O bstruct
T errorism
The New York Times astutely points out that "...while Michael Moore's 'Fahrenheit 9/11' will be properly debated on the basis of its factual claims and cinematic techniques, it should first of all be appreciated as a high-spirited and unruly exercise in democratic self-expression." (emphasis mine) Click here to read the entire article. For a more comprehensive review, visit New York Metro
While it irks me that the title of this film is a rip-off of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, I now have a newfound interest in reading this 1953 classic that addresses issues of censorship and freedom, and is considered a peer of George Orwell's 1984. I'm considering tackling the book before I see the movie, just for purposes of comparison. My unsubstantiated theory is that the parallels between the book and the film will be barely perceptible save for general thematic undertones.
UPDATE: Here's a link to an interesting article about Bradbury's reaction to Moore's film title. Bradbury seems quite peeved, though the film will no doubt inject some life into his book sales. Also, a quick web search results in a number of anti-Moore sites. I can't believe some people devote so much time to slandering someone else.. There is also an anti-Moore documentary you can read more about here.
I'm not a particularly "political" person, but it will be interesting to see how this film alters the public discourse and even potentially affects the upcoming presidential election. I'm definitely planning on seeing it soon, but I don't expect to endorse it wholeheartedly. I plan to take everything with a grain of salt, and hopefully with further motivation to read up on IR and US public policy. (How I miss the intellectually stimulating college days...)
Speaking of which, Michael Moore admonishes Congressmen for not having read the text of the USA PATRIOT ACT. Have you? Here it is in pdf or html. By the way, PATRIOT is an acronym for:
P roviding
A ppropriate
T ools
R equired to
I ntercept and
O bstruct
T errorism
The New York Times astutely points out that "...while Michael Moore's 'Fahrenheit 9/11' will be properly debated on the basis of its factual claims and cinematic techniques, it should first of all be appreciated as a high-spirited and unruly exercise in democratic self-expression." (emphasis mine) Click here to read the entire article. For a more comprehensive review, visit New York Metro
While it irks me that the title of this film is a rip-off of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, I now have a newfound interest in reading this 1953 classic that addresses issues of censorship and freedom, and is considered a peer of George Orwell's 1984. I'm considering tackling the book before I see the movie, just for purposes of comparison. My unsubstantiated theory is that the parallels between the book and the film will be barely perceptible save for general thematic undertones.
UPDATE: Here's a link to an interesting article about Bradbury's reaction to Moore's film title. Bradbury seems quite peeved, though the film will no doubt inject some life into his book sales. Also, a quick web search results in a number of anti-Moore sites. I can't believe some people devote so much time to slandering someone else.. There is also an anti-Moore documentary you can read more about here.
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Who'd Have Thunk It?
The New York Daily News conducted a somewhat unscientific study of how nice New Yorkers really are. The results are mystifying. Notably, 84% of NYers (ie Manhattanites; apologies if I'm being presumptuous) gladly provided directions for the directionless and in the Bronx, 76% loaned their cellphones to the cellphone-less.
Maybe I'm too cynical, but the reporters who were sent out on these "act like clueless tourists and see how nice the New Yorkers are to us" missions must have been pretty damn hot!
I'm sick of the B.S. that 9/11 made New Yorkers nicer people. Puh-lease, it's simply not true. New Yorkers are driven by self-interest, and that's all there is to it. The opportunity to talk with a hottie or land a new hook-up buddy (depending on the level of cockiness) must have prevailed in the reporters' execution of this optimistic study.
And so the story unfolds...
Maybe I'm too cynical, but the reporters who were sent out on these "act like clueless tourists and see how nice the New Yorkers are to us" missions must have been pretty damn hot!
I'm sick of the B.S. that 9/11 made New Yorkers nicer people. Puh-lease, it's simply not true. New Yorkers are driven by self-interest, and that's all there is to it. The opportunity to talk with a hottie or land a new hook-up buddy (depending on the level of cockiness) must have prevailed in the reporters' execution of this optimistic study.
And so the story unfolds...
City passes our 'friendly test' -- June 20, 2004
We asked for directions. We asked to share your umbrella.
We even asked to use your (gasp!) cell phone.
Again and again, you answered, 'No problem.'
Out-of-towners come to New York expecting every native they meet will be a cross between Archie Bunker, Andy Sipowicz and Attila the Hun.
But a Daily News survey of hundreds of people in the five boroughs found exactly the opposite: City residents are shockingly friendly, helpful and polite.
Reporters were dispatched to every corner of the big, bad metropolis with orders to pose as tourists, stop passersby for help and be as pesky and clueless as possible...[click here for more!]
Monday, June 21, 2004
Clever Copywriting
I've often thought it would be fun to be a copywriter and come up with ads like the following (in the NYC subway):
"If you're feeling claustrophobic, think of wide-open spaces full of indigenous people selling crafts. Perhaps I can show you travel agents and airline reservations."
(for Verizon SuperPages)
It's creative and resonates with subway riders who are packed in like sardines!
Even the MTA itself (Metropolitan Transit Authority, for you non-NY-ers) had some cool ads telling riders to move their backpacks and turn down their walkmen (or do you prefer walkmans?) However, I doubt that the offending parties paid any heed to them...
"If you're feeling claustrophobic, think of wide-open spaces full of indigenous people selling crafts. Perhaps I can show you travel agents and airline reservations."
(for Verizon SuperPages)
It's creative and resonates with subway riders who are packed in like sardines!
Even the MTA itself (Metropolitan Transit Authority, for you non-NY-ers) had some cool ads telling riders to move their backpacks and turn down their walkmen (or do you prefer walkmans?) However, I doubt that the offending parties paid any heed to them...
Monday, June 14, 2004
The Trials & Tribulations of NYC Dating
Gawker reports on a woman being invoiced for 50% of the cost of her date with a man. Gotta love Manhattan. Check it out at:
Dating In Manhattan: An Exercise In Contract Law
All I can say is "Oy vey!"
Dating In Manhattan: An Exercise In Contract Law
All I can say is "Oy vey!"
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
The Curse of Being Ordinary...and Other Ramblings
As I meet more and more people in this crazy city, I keep wondering, what is it that differentiates me from being just another 20-something female living in Manhattan???
A corollary of this is the challenge of identifying myself. I remember when I was in college, it was quite easy to describe myself to new people I met. I go to X University where I am majoring in Y and Z. (I wonder if I'll always have the need to maintain such extreme anonymity!) These days though, it seems that the first question out of a new acquaintance's mouth is: So, what do you do?
What DO I do? Well, it's a complicated answer. I've ended up in an industry that has nothing to do with what I studied in college, and am now working independently for a very small company... ie no office, no benefits... also, no strings attached, which I like! (Sketchy men reading, do not take this as an offer!) But, alas, it does not provide me with a satisfactory "identity" to appease those "so-what-do-you-do?"-ers.
Anyway, I doubt that it's my "calling," but only time will tell. It is unfortunate that books like What Color is your Parachute just seem to rehash the obvious. I know that I need to find a job where I can interact with people, put my persuasion skills to use and not be chained behind a desk all day. While I don't want to sell my soul to the corporate world, I also don't wish to work for pennies for a cause I support (ie ISRAEL). Nor could I waste the majority of my waking hours on something that is utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of things... Oh, the agony! {Relax, it's sarcasm}
By the way, it was several years ago that I recognized the quarter-life crisis phenomenon. Why, oh why, could I not have been the one to put it all to paper resulting in a NYT bestseller?
Seriously though, reading through the profiles of the online dating service I use (which will remain unnamed), just underscores to me, either the homogeneity of the community here, or the inability of young people to creatively express their essence. Homogeneity seems like it would be unlikely, here in Manhattan, of all places, but maybe it simply means I am not getting out enough to meet up with people of various stripes, etc.
Long story short, I'm just another disillusioned, overeducated soul wondering what the hell to do with her life!
Hmmmm.... a penny for your thoughts...?? Is anyone out there reading my blog? I really am curious, so please drop a line (comment) to say hello ;)
---
PS I need to find a great (preferably free) site counter, that includes data on where visitors surf in from -- any suggestions?
A corollary of this is the challenge of identifying myself. I remember when I was in college, it was quite easy to describe myself to new people I met. I go to X University where I am majoring in Y and Z. (I wonder if I'll always have the need to maintain such extreme anonymity!) These days though, it seems that the first question out of a new acquaintance's mouth is: So, what do you do?
What DO I do? Well, it's a complicated answer. I've ended up in an industry that has nothing to do with what I studied in college, and am now working independently for a very small company... ie no office, no benefits... also, no strings attached, which I like! (Sketchy men reading, do not take this as an offer!) But, alas, it does not provide me with a satisfactory "identity" to appease those "so-what-do-you-do?"-ers.
Anyway, I doubt that it's my "calling," but only time will tell. It is unfortunate that books like What Color is your Parachute just seem to rehash the obvious. I know that I need to find a job where I can interact with people, put my persuasion skills to use and not be chained behind a desk all day. While I don't want to sell my soul to the corporate world, I also don't wish to work for pennies for a cause I support (ie ISRAEL). Nor could I waste the majority of my waking hours on something that is utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of things... Oh, the agony! {Relax, it's sarcasm}
By the way, it was several years ago that I recognized the quarter-life crisis phenomenon. Why, oh why, could I not have been the one to put it all to paper resulting in a NYT bestseller?
Seriously though, reading through the profiles of the online dating service I use (which will remain unnamed), just underscores to me, either the homogeneity of the community here, or the inability of young people to creatively express their essence. Homogeneity seems like it would be unlikely, here in Manhattan, of all places, but maybe it simply means I am not getting out enough to meet up with people of various stripes, etc.
Long story short, I'm just another disillusioned, overeducated soul wondering what the hell to do with her life!
Hmmmm.... a penny for your thoughts...?? Is anyone out there reading my blog? I really am curious, so please drop a line (comment) to say hello ;)
---
PS I need to find a great (preferably free) site counter, that includes data on where visitors surf in from -- any suggestions?
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Zionist Haiku
As my soul blossoms
Klal Yisrael b'yachad
Oolay aliyah
------------------------
Components of haiku:
5/7/5 (syllables)
nature/seasonal reference
Translation:
As my soul (nefesh) blossoms
All of Israel (community) together
Perhaps aliyah (immigration to Israel)
Would love to know if this resonates with anyone or if you have feedback :)
Klal Yisrael b'yachad
Oolay aliyah
------------------------
Components of haiku:
5/7/5 (syllables)
nature/seasonal reference
Translation:
As my soul (nefesh) blossoms
All of Israel (community) together
Perhaps aliyah (immigration to Israel)
Would love to know if this resonates with anyone or if you have feedback :)
Joining the world of blogging
Welcome to my blog: Single Gal in NYC. Yes I know, it's not overly creative, and my status as "single" is transient, but as long as I'm not married, I think it's a fair descriptor. Hopefully you will enjoy reading about my travails as a young single Manhattanite who strives to be anything but ordinary.
Certainly more will be revealed about me through this blog, but here's for starters...
Adventurous
Bantering
Creative
Disillusioned
Even
Flirty
Genuine
Happy?
Inquisitive
Jaded
Klutzy
Loyal
Marginally
Neurotic
Odd
Persuasive
Quasi-
Rash
Silly
Thoughtful
Unabashedly
Voracious
Witty
XX-coded
Yes I’m a
Zionist
Certainly more will be revealed about me through this blog, but here's for starters...
Adventurous
Bantering
Creative
Disillusioned
Even
Flirty
Genuine
Happy?
Inquisitive
Jaded
Klutzy
Loyal
Marginally
Neurotic
Odd
Persuasive
Quasi-
Rash
Silly
Thoughtful
Unabashedly
Voracious
Witty
XX-coded
Yes I’m a
Zionist
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