Smitten...

I am smitten like never before (or that I can recall)!!!

I met the most adorable sweet Jewish guy at a party last night. So cute/hot that I almost think he's out of my league, but we had great conversation and flirted very much! At the end of the night he kissed me and it was like the earth stopped. Lightning and thunder. Fireworks. Butterflies. WOW. AMAZING. I was totally lost in the moment and wanted to kiss him forever. And now I can't stop thinking about him!! I know I shouldn't get my hopes up though....even though we really connected and he had that LOOK in his eyes of being really into me :) He asked me out and got my digits, but we didn't set a date...

At first, I was just so excited about him and immediately told a few close friends and my sister.....but now I'm starting to worry that perhaps my reaction is elevated and I am not totally in my right mind (ie kind of manic-y). I am recalling the last time I got completely obsessed with a guy and it was one of my worst episodes ever. I thought I was in love with him and he just withdrew from me because I was too intense.

So now the question is, how do I know if I am having normal feelings and butterflies or if I am getting too over-excited and exaggerating things....I mean, I did just dump a guy recently...whom I had no feelings for. I stayed with him because I thought I would grow to like him more, and besides, I was losing hope that any guy would want to be with me, so maybe I should keep him. (I'm so glad I overcame that ridiculous thought.)

So perhaps, I'm not so out of whack if the last guy didn't make me fall head over heels and this guy did.... It has do with the guy, not my current chemical balance, right?.....However, on second thought, my doc just upped my anti-depressant and decreased my lithium. OY. He told me that I would start feeling more up.....but as long as it's not *too* far up, this high feeling is *REALLY* great!! (and a legal way to get to this state!)

What to do, what to do!? I am waiting on pins and needles for him to call. But I need to force myself to take it slow.

(But WOW, if he kisses like that...it's an indicator of what's to come! I hope!)