Stood Up-date

(part I in previous post)

So I was stood up on Tuesday night, but thoroughly confused as to why because we had a great email/phone rapport and he did not seem like the type of guy to do such a rude thing.

On Wednesday night, I considered going to a class that he said he was going to, just to meet him face-to-face to find out what happened. A friend advised me not to (she actually said it would be psychotic), so I reconsidered and left my would-be beau a voicemail instead. I expressed regret that we didn't meet up, but requested that he call me back to let me know what happened.

No response.

On Thursday night, I sent him a short email saying that I had been worried and asking him to do me the courtesy of replying to tell me what happened.

Then he replied! Very simple & to the point. He said he arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes early (at 7:15) and sat down at a table. His cellphone battery was dead. At 8:15, he ordered food to go and left (right about when I left also). He wrote that he thought I didn't show up.

However, I had been waiting outside the whole time! After arriving right on time and waiting about 10 minutes, I stepped inside to look at the posted menu and took a fast glance around, but as it was a blind date, I didn't want to roam the restaurant looking for a semi-familiar face from a tiny pixelated image. I was also very nervous (usually I am not so nervous on dates) and looked up the block, eagerly waiting for him. So I waited. And waited. And waited. And finally went on with my evening.

My perspective:
* If you were going on a first date, wouldn't you wait to meet the person at the entrance to the establishment? Every time I've gone on a first date, I've met the date at the door. It's only polite to meet at the door and be seated together, isn't it?
* If you were early for said first date and for some reason decided to sit down, wouldn't you be on the look-out for said date?
* If your cell phone battery were dead, wouldn't you take extra care to make sure you covered your bases? Including calling for your messages if you don't see your date after 45 minutes? But also checking the door of the restaurant (esp. at the designated meeting time), telling the hostess you're waiting for someone, sitting at a table outside or near the door, etc.?

I don't like to make accusations, but there is a chance he's lying. Does his story sound legit? His phone DID NOT go straight to voicemail when I called that night, meaning that unless it was broken, the battery was not dead, as he claimed. But other than that, were we both just idiotic? Does he have reason to be annoyed at me? Do I have reason to be annoyed at him? Does this incident mean it's not besheret (meant-to-be)? Or could it be a test?

I was really into him, but now I don't know what to do. At the very least, I will write him back a short message. A male friend of mine suggested that I apologize and "take one for the team." Even if the guy was at fault, too. And my friend couldn't believe that I didn't look around the restaurant. I don't know why I didn't look so hard. I think I just assumed he'd be waiting outside for me....

Questions for the peanut gallery:
Is either of us at fault?
Do you predict that I'll meet up with him again? Date him? Marry him?


only kidding.....sort of.....

Stood Up

Yep. I was stood up this evening. For the very first time. Ordinarily (were such a situation to occur), I would have been annoyed and a little disappointed, but tonight, I was bewildered and a lot disappointed.

It's wrong to set your expectations too high, but I was really into this guy (I met him online.) He seems very genuine. Down-to-earth. Funny. Sentimental. Self-aware. Connected to Judaism & Israel. He's also older than the men I usually date: 35. But I overlooked the age thing because I thought he had so much potential.

He chose a really nifty little cafe in the Village for us to meet at tonight. And then he didn't show :( I was antsy while I was waiting, but I wasn't really annoyed because I'm always the late one. I felt like I was getting a taste of my own medicine. Worry and disappointment were really the emotions I experienced, not anger.

In any case, after 30 minutes, I left him a voicemail. After 45 minutes, I browsed the bookstore next door. And after 60 minutes, I headed down the street, and treated myself to a lovely meal at a French bistro with live music. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And deserved it. My evening ended up just fine, but I do hope everything is okay with him. :(

And I'll let you know when I hear more...

PS Have any of you ever stood up a date? If so, why & what happened?

New York City and Education

Read the below quote from an ad for an event at the JCC.

"Applying to school can be an overwhelming and anxiety-producing process. Join our distinguished panel to get some of your questions answered: when to apply... how to choose the right school for your child, interviews, first choice letters, and how to survive the process."


Sounds just like applying to college, right? Well, I left out the third word in that blurb. That word is "nursery." Applying to nursery school is as stressful as applying to college. Just ridiculous!

This is only one of the many reasons I refuse to raise my children in Manhattan.

Labor Day & Other Musings

Haha. An Israeli friend of mine asked me if "Labor Day" referred to giving birth or to work. I replied "giving birth" with a straight face and looked him right in the eye for about 5 seconds before cracking up.

On that note, it would most certainly be disrespectful were I to work today. "Work" as in looking for work! Instead I will probably go hang out in Central Park. There is a frum gathering (frum means Orthodox Jews), but I am so sick of that "scene," that I will avoid it altogether.

Yesterday, I had a nice mini-PDA session in CP with this guy I just started dating. The unfortunate thing is that I'm not really that into him. He's cute and fun, but I just don't feel a deeper connection. I don't think he does either, but he does seem to like me more than I like him. And then I get into the "pretend" game because it's just fun to walk around holding hands and smooching. After he closes a couple deals, he wants to take me on vacation. Why not?! (I have my doubts that this would materialize, but it would be cool!) What I also like about him is that he respects me and isn't so sex-obsessed. Or at least not outwardly so. It's been 3 dates, but I haven't invited him up and we've just had fun going out. I guess this is "dating" in my mom's old-fashioned way. It's so different from the experiences I've had in the past. I must admit that I like it, though if we go on vacation, we'd be sleeping together. Even if I plan not to, I don't have that kind of self-control with a sexy Israeli :)

I went out dancing the other night. It happened to be one of these clubs where everyone just did their own thing. No judgments. Just wild crazy dancing and having fun. I was with some girlfriends. Hanging out with gfs is sometimes more fun than mixed company.

Anyway, I'm going into this coming month UNINSURED. Not that it's such an uncommon thing. I used to think that those ststistics of how many Americans were uninsured referred to the low-income demographic, but I've realized over the last few years that is not necessarily the case. I have peers who ride life by the seat of their pants, without insurance. Keep your fingers crossed that nothing terrible happens to me (though I can sign up for a policy that would be retroactive to Sept. 1st).

I am writing for the sake of writing right now, but it's actually in response to a couple emails I received (yes, I have fans!) Some people want to hear what's new in my life. That is pretty neat.

In any case, I cannot meet up with anyone because that would mean disclosing my identity. Even my best friends don't know about this blog. I like having an audience, but I'm writing my innermost secrets here and would be mortified to meet a stranger who knew me so intimately.

Keep the comments coming! And/or email me at singlegalnyc@hotmail.com